<script>
  <scene>
    <character>NEVER BEEN KISSED</character>
    <dialogue>Revised draft by Jenny Bicks</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Based on the Original Screenplay by Abby Kohn & Marc Silverstein Shooting Script Revision Draft 6/26/98 FADE IN: CLOSE UP ON A GIRL'S FACE It's Josie Geller, 25, cute, blonde and scared out of her wits. We hear the chanting of a crowd.</scene_description>
    <character>CROWD</character>
    <dialogue>Josie! Josie! Josie!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>You know in some movies how they have a dream sequence only they don't tell you it's a dream?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>PULL OUT to reveal Josie on pitcher's mound of a--</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. A BASEBALL STADIUM -- NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>It's packed. Reporters line the field. All eyes are on Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>This is so not a dream.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The stadium clock sets at 5:00. The crowd goes crazy. Josie takes a deep, nervous breath and smiles, "Oh God."</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. ELECTRONICS STORE -- CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Multiple images of Josie play across rows of TV sets. A crowd has gathered.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was just trying to do my job. And then things happened. Well, life happened. And now I'm here.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BASEBALL STADIUM -- CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The clock starts to tick down. The crowd yells again.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Trust me. I am not the kind of girl who does things like this. I mean, two months ago you couldn't have picked me out of a crowd...</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CHICAGO SUN TIMES BULLPEN -- DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Packed with office workers. Bustling with activity. The CAMERA searches the CROWD.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Told you. I'm over there.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The CAMERA SWINGS to Josie entering. Rhoda, a young copy assistant, tails her, pen and paper in hand.</scene_description>
    <character>RHODA</character>
    <dialogue>Theater--</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Standard American calls for "er". Standard British is "re". So go for "er", unless you're a pompous American, then go for British.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie keeps negotiating the maze, leaving Rhoda in her wake.</scene_description>
    <character>RHODA</character>
    <dialogue>No. Theater. Last night. We were supposed to go, remember?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie stops at a desk where Merkin Burns, officious office assistant, is talking on the phone. He picks his nose with abandon as he talks, ignoring Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>MERKIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>No way. No way. No way. Ech, hold on.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to Josie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Messages?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Merkin removes his finger from his nose and uses it to pick up a pink message. He holds it out to Josie. Disgusted, she takes it by one corner.</scene_description>
    <character>MERKIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Seriously? No way. No way--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie's still standing there.</scene_description>
    <character>MERKIN</character>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Merkin, do you think we could get some more yellow highlighters? I checked the box and we're--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Merkin swivels his chair 180 degrees so his back is to Josie and continues with his phone call.</scene_description>
    <character>MERKIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(back into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Okay, I'm back, so--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie sighs, walks to her door. It's marked with a lopsided nameplate: Josie Geller, Copy Editor. She adjusts the plate so it's perfectly straight.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S OFFICE -- CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie enters, reads the message still gingerly held in two fingers, and drops it into the trash can. She hangs her coat squarely on the back of her door, takes five pencils from her pencil pot, one by one sharpens them in her pencil sharpener, and then lays them out neatly in a row. She smiles, satisfied, ready for another day. Anita Brandt, late 20's, pretty in a semi-unprofessional way, bursts in, smiling.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Guess who I did it with last night...</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(duh)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Roger in Op/Ed.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Who told!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You did. Yesterday you said, and I quote, "I have a date with Roger from Op/Ed tonight and I'm going to do it with him."</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Well, that doesn't mean it was going to happen for sure.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie just stares at her.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Once it didn't happen for sure.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus Strauss, late 30's, would probably clean up well, enters. He tosses some copy onto Josie's desk.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Computer's down. Septuplets story. I need it back by five. Hopefully the copy's not a mess.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(emphasizing)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>It is hoped that it's not a mess. "Hopefully" is an adverb. It means "with hope". You have it defining the copy, and I'm pretty sure the copy doesn't have feelings.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus and Anita just stare at Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Well, excuse me for caring about words.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Anita)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>So. You and Roger in Op/Ed.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, man! Who told?</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Roger in Op/Ed. Don't make me send you another memo about my policy on inter-office dating.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Intra office. And they're not dating. They're having sex.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>And what is your policy? That if you're not getting any, no one can?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita flounces off.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>How many times have I fired her?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Five-- Six--</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <parenthetical>(shrugging, giving up)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Eh.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus turns to exit.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hey Gus--did you see the story idea I left on your desk?</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah--the blind foster home mother. It was good. I got Cahoon on it.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(disappointed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh. Cahoon. Yeah, he's--good.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Geller, we've been over this. You're a great copy editor. Maybe my best copy editor. You're not a reporter.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You've done five of my ideas.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>You know what separates us office flunkies from the reporters?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>They don't have to be in the office Christmas show?</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>A flack jacket.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(not getting it)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>A--flack jacket.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Every Tom, Dick, and Harry thinks he can write. But a journalist gets in there, right where the bombs are. He's aggressive. Grabs the bull by the balls.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You don't think I can grab bulls' balls?</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Geller, you don't want a reporter's life. They're very--messy. You're all about order. Control. And getting me my copy by five.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hey--I can be out of control.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus smiles. On his way out he re-adjusts Josie's nameplate so it hangs at an angle. Tormented, Josie waits a beat. She can't take it, and runs to the door and straightens it.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <parenthetical>(over his shoulder)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Copy by five.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SUN TIMES LUNCHROOM -- DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Actually, a pretty depressing kitchenette area. Anita and Josie eat lunch--Anita eats Chinese out of a container, Josie has three baggies of perfectly cut food in front of her.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Be honest. Do you think I'm aggressive?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita ponders a moment.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Okay. Remember when they took your office chair in for repairs and forgot to return it?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>You stood for like a month.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Cynthia, an affable African-American woman in her 40's, enters and puts three microwave meals in the microwave.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Just because I'm not out of control doesn't mean I can't write.</dialogue>
    <character>CYNTHIA</character>
    <dialogue>Josie, you listen to me. If you feel you're a writer--</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(touching her chest)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Here, deep inside, don't let anyone tell you you're not. Look at me. Every day I come to this paper and I pour my heart and soul into what I do. I feel it, passionately, to the core of my being.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You write obituaries.</dialogue>
    <character>CYNTHIA</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, if you can make a busted aorta sound good--honey, that's art.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The microwave dings off. Cynthia fishes the three Lean Cuisines out. Anita and Josie share a look.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Cynthia, aren't they only diatetic if you eat them one at a time?</dialogue>
    <character>CYNTHIA</character>
    <dialogue>I eat 'em one at a time.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Josie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Y'know, maybe Gus has a point. It wouldn't kill you to relax and have some fun. Roger's got a friend, Marshall in editing? The one with the lazy eye? Maybe we could double date.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Forget it.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>I swear to God, Jos. When is the last time you went on a real live date?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm concentrating on my career right now.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Do you own any colored underwear? Stripes? Anything?!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(embarrassed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Anita!</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Look. You're way under 30, you're cute, some guys find white Carter's underwear sexy-</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>If you talk to his nose, you don't even notice the eye.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie laughs in spite of herself.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>The right guy is out there. I'm just not going to kiss a whole bunch of losers to get to him.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, but sometimes kissing the losers can be a fun diversion.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>When I finally get kissed, I'll know.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita and Cynthia trade looks.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Okay. If you've never kissed a guy, we got bigger problems than the underwear.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I've kissed guys. I've just never kissed a guy. Felt that thing--</dialogue>
    <character>CYNTHIA</character>
    <dialogue>"That thing"? Is that what you kids are calling it these days?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>That thing. That moment. You kiss someone and it's like the world around you gets all hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this other person and you know that one person is the person you're meant to be kissing for the rest of your life. And for that one moment you've been given this amazing gift and you want to laugh and cry at the same time because you're so lucky you found it, and so scared that it will all go away.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita and Cynthia take this in.</scene_description>
    <character>CYNTHIA</character>
    <dialogue>Damn, girl. You are a writer.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. TIKI POST -- DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Basically a Mailbox Etc. store, but dressed in a Tahitian theme. Cardboard hula dancers hold Fedex envelopes. ROB GELLER, 23, good-looking, wears a smock with "Tiki Post" emblazoned across it over a Hawaiian shirt. He stands watch at the cash register. MONTY MAYLIK, 50, proud owner, rearranges a display. The place is empty.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Hey Monty--you think we'll get any business today?</dialogue>
    <character>MONTY</character>
    <parenthetical>(of course)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'm handing out a free lei to every customer! What do you think?</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>I think maybe people are scared off by the tiki torches.</dialogue>
    <character>MONTY</character>
    <dialogue>Change is scary. Robbie, let me tell you a little something about the mail business. I've been in it over thirty years. And in those thirty years, the only thing that's changed is the Elvis stamp and some gun laws. People are bored! They wanna shake things up!</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>I thought people just wanted their mail delivered on time.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie walks into the store, triggering Hawaiian music. Monty puts a lei over her head.</scene_description>
    <character>MONTY</character>
    <dialogue>Aloha! Welcome!</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Relax, Monty. It's just my sister.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Monty takes the lei off her neck. Josie hands Rob an envelope. Rob rifles through the cash inside.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Thanks, Jos. I'll pay you back. Bambi thanks you, too.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob indicates a beat-up wreck of a yellow car parked outside.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>That is so--weird that you name your car.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>No it's not. Guys name their penises.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Okaaaay....</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(then)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>That car's going to bankrupt you.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>She just needs a new windshield wiper.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Because I bought the windshield last week. I'm a hubcap away from owning more of Bambi than you do.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob hands the money back.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Y'know what? Take it. I don't want it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie hands it back.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Rob, take the money, okay? It's no big deal.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>No, it is. It's just one more thing to add to your "things that make you a better person than me" list.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Better person than I.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>See!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I know this woman. She works in admissions at Lakeshore Community? She might be able to get you in for the Fall semester. Maybe she could get you the baseball scholarship, and I could help and--</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>I'm not going to college, Jos. And I'm not playing anymore baseball. This is my life.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(whispering)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>This--this is a luau that sells packing material!</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Someday this luau is going to be all mine!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>How can you just give up like that? You had a real shot at playing college ball and you let one case of mono</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>stop everything. Don't you want more? To move out of Mom and Dad's? Pay your own bills?</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Oh yay! And then I could be as happy as you!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>For your information, I am very happy. Deliriously happy. I lead a very happy life!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She exits. The music starts up again.</scene_description>
    <character>MONTY</character>
    <dialogue>Come again!</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>We PAN AROUND the neatest and quietest walk-up you've ever seen. Lots of books on shelves. We find Josie sitting at her small table putting the finishing touches on a needlepoint pillow. She turns it over and WE SEE it says: "LOVE". She holds up the final product to a terrarium, lookup up at her two turtles.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>There. What d'you think, guys? Where should it go?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie looks around the living room.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hmm.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(She pretends to listen to the turtles.)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What's that? Bedroom? Great idea!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She walks into the bedroom with the pillow.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S BEDROOM -- CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>A perfectly arranged Laura Ashley bedroom. We PAN OVER TO the bed. It is completely covered in needlepoint pillows. Josie places the latest one on top of the others and smiles.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Perfect.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. A CONFERENCE ROOM - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>It's packed with the NEWSPAPER STAFF. HYRAM RIGFORT, 65, white-haired, dignified owner of the paper presides. Anita and Josie sit next to each other. Next to Anita sits Roger from Op/Ed, a good-looking guy in his 30's.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>Let me start out by saying that I was very impressed by the investigative piece Dutton did on pesticides in our supermarkets.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>An older man, Dutton, smiles proudly.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>But since the Trib did a better piece on the same subject, you're fired.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Dutton's face falls. Everyone looks horrified.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>You heard me. Out. Out.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Dutton shuffles out. Josie takes a big bite of donut.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>So. Happy March everybody!</dialogue>
    <character>ALL</character>
    <parenthetical>(by rote)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Happy March Mr. Rigfort.</dialogue>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>To celebrate, I've decided it's time for another undercover feature!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Everyone looks underwhelmed.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>You all know that some of my best inspiration comes from personal experience. Who knew that my botched foray into hair plugs would lead to last month's award-winning expose -- "hair today, gone tomorrow"? Hat's off to you, Bruns.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>We PAN OVER to BRUNS, a reporter whose hair is missing in odd-looking clumps. He nods sadly.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>Or should I say "hat's on"! And what about when my wife had that affair</dialogue>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>with Gil, her ski instructor and Howard went undercover as an expert slalom skier.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Howard smiled wanly. Both his arms are in casts. CAMERA PANS the room as Rigfort continues, picking out different reporters.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>So last night I'm sitting around the dinner table with my family. The wife, the two nannies, the boys, and we're eating chicken with this peanut sauce.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>CAMERA STOPS at a Chef Boyardee look-alike.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Undercover chef. I like it.</dialogue>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>Hang on, Gus. So, we're eating this peanut sauce and suddenly the younger kid starts choking.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>CAMERA STOPS at a Nurse Ratchet look-alike.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <parenthetical>(sotto to Josie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'm smelling undercover ER nurse.</dialogue>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>Turns out he's allergic to peanuts. And I think -- holy shit. I don't even know my own kids. I mean, who knows if they're even mine? And it got me thinking. How much do we know about kids today? What are they thinking? How many of them are allergic to peanuts? Boom. It hit me -- "My Semester In High School."</dialogue>
    <scene_description>CAMERA STOPS at a bald guy, the jerks over one seat to Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Josie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You. What's your name?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Josie. Josie Geller.</dialogue>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>You enroll on Friday.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>General crowd hubub. Josie's in shock.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh. But--I'm not a reporter yet...</dialogue>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>And none of these geezers could pass for a day under 40. Have fun.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And Rigfort exits.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S OFFICE - MINUTES LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie is so excited she can hardly speak to Anita.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>It's finally happening, Anita! I'm going to write!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita looks concerned.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>My own undercover feature - "Written by Josie Geller".</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Jos - Maybe you should turn it down.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A beat. Josie's face falls.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You don't think I can do it.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>No - It's just a lot of pressure for your first piece, that's all. I mean, it's not a half-page article, it's a major undercover piece, Jos. Look what Rigfort did to Dutton - and that guy's his cousin!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus enters.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Don't worry, I'll straighten all this out.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>But I don't want it straightened out.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Geller, this is way out of your league.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie takes in Anita and Gus.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, just so I'm clear here --neither of you think I can do this.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Jos, that's not what we're --</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Anita, when you wanted to seduce the guy in the mailroom and you didn't think you could learn Spanish fast enough, who quizzed you on your verbs?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita looks down, chastened.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Senorita Josie.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>And Gus - when you picked up knitting, who showed you how to hold the needles?</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <parenthetical>(sotto)</parenthetical>
    <character>YOU DID.</character>
    <dialogue>ANITA</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to Gus)</parenthetical>
    <character>YOU KNIT?</character>
    <dialogue>JOSIE</dialogue>
    <scene_description>So, this is my chance. A beat.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>I'm not holding your job for you, Geller.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie jumps up and down and hugs Gus, who is clearly uncomfortable.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Don't make me send you the memo on hugging in the workplace.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie smiles. Gus exits.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>I do believe in you, Jos. Anything you need, I'll help you out.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie sits, motions to the brown paper bag.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You can start by handing me that bag.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita does. Josie sticks it over her face, flips her head between her knees and starts hyperventilating again. CLOSE UP on Rob, wearing his Tiki Post outfit. He shakes his head.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>No. Uh, uh.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>PULL OUT TO REVEAL HIM STANDING WITH JOSIE ON THE SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF -</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. TIKI POST - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie's shiny Buick is parked right behind Bambi at the curb.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>It's just for a couple of months.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>You can't just "borrow" my car for a couple of months! That's like ten years in Bambi life!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'll give you my Buick Le Sabre.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob rolls his eyes and enters the store.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You can name it whatever you want.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. TIKI POST - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie follows Rob into the store. He turns.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Wow. This must be big.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I got an assignment from the paper. I'm going undercover. Back to high school.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob starts laughing uncontrollably.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>What!?</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Do you remember high school?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>It was a long time ago -</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Don't you remember what they called you?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Slowly Josie's face falls. She looks very far away.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Josie -</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. A HIGH SCHOOL CAFETERIA - DAY (FLASHBACK)</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>It's packed with kids. Everyone stares off-screen at chants -</scene_description>
    <character>ALL</character>
    <dialogue>Josie Grossie. Josie Grossie. Josie Grossie.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. TIKI POST - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie looks stricken.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Josie Grossie.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>I know. I came up with it.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You look nauseous.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Nauseated. I look nauseated. Oh God.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She puts her hand over her mouth, races for the bathroom.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. TIKI POST BATHROOM - MINUTES LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie has just gotten violently ill. She rises off her knees, grabs some toilet paper to wipe her mouth. She looks down at her feet.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY (FLASHBACK)</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>We CLOSE UP on brown leather oxfords and widen to reveal TEENAGE JOSIE braces, heavy glasses, in all her nerdom, slowly walking down the corridor with a huge backpack on her back. A boy sneaks up behind her, holds open the top of her backpack while another boy pours a half drunk Sprite into her backback. Kids smile and snicker as Josie continues down the hallway. She spots, BILLY PRINCE, ultimate high school heartthrob, and approaches him nervously.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Billy Prince, I noticed you weren't in math today, and I have the notes in case you want -</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Midway through Josie's speech, WE HEAR the odd sound of liquid hitting linoleum. Josie follow Billy's gaze down to between her feet where a pool of Sprite has gathered. Billy starts to laugh. Kids around him join in. As the laughter echoes around her we DISSOLVE BACK TO:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. TIKI POST BATHROOM - SAME (PRESENT DAY)</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie stares into the mirror. Staring back is teenage Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>This is a very bad idea.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. THE MALL - TEEN CLOTHING STORE - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Anita and Josie cruise through a teen clothing store, carrying large bags from a stationery store. Josie picks up a platform sneaker and just stares at it.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>So, you were a geek. Big deal.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Anita, remember espadrilles?</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Please. That doesn't make you a nerd. Everyone wore those shoes.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>The girls threw them at me in the locker room.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Okay. That's bad.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>At the end of the year, the person who got the most direct hits to my head got to toss me into the pool.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Mama mia.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(then)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Just because you were a nerd once doesn't mean it's going to happen again. That's why you have me for fashion consultation.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita pulls a slip skirt off a rack and holds it up.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Now this is cute.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>That is lingerie.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>So I was thinking about what you were saying - y'know, about really being kissed? I think Roger could be the one.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>What'd you feel when you kissed him?</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Bridgework?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Very romantic.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie pulls out a plain button-down cardigan.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>How about this?</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>I am not letting you out of the house in that, young lady.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita grabs an awful white marabou jacket and matching earrings and holds them up.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Cuuuute!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>'Nita, this is about reporting, not accessorizing.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>And we're going to have to do something about your hair.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Anita!</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Jos, please try and have some fun here, okay? How many of us get to go back to high school? You're gonna have a blast!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>SMASH CUT TO: CLOSE UP - AN ALARM CLOCK on a bedside table. Surrounded by make-up, boxes of hair color, a stack of index cards, ripped magazine pages of teen looks, issues of Teen Beat and YM. The clock slips to 7:00. NPR starts playing. A hand reaches over, hits the radio off. SOUND EFFECTS: A school bell. As the bell continues to ring, we WIDEN TO:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S BEDROOM - MORNING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie sits up in bed, covers pulled up to her chin in terror.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. A CHICAGO STREET - MORNING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>MUSIC UP: "Morning Train". Crowds of commuters stream down the sidewalk and onto the stairs leading up to the El. A big yellow car jerks into frame, backfires noisily. It's Josie at the wheel of Bambi. She jerks out of frame.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. SOUTH GLEN SOUTH HIGH SCHOOL - MORNING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>A suburban campus anchored by a main building. Cars pull into the parking lot for the beginning of the day. Kids greet each other, converge on the front doors of the school. General mayhem. Bambi pulls in. She jerks into a spot, backfiring once more for effect. The entire scene stops. Kids freeze, look at Josie. A beat, and they they continue on their way.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. BAMBI - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie takes a few deep breaths.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, I can do this. Piece of cake.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>I can do this.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie steps out of the car wearing the marabou jacket, earrings, and white jeans. She shuts the door behind her, starts walking. She has unknowingly shut her jacket in the door and as she walks, a piece of marabou rips, trailing behind her like a tail.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, okay. Feeling good...</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SCHOOL LOBBY - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie merges with the throngs of kids and is literally pushed into the lobby. She stares around, overwhelmed. "Go Rams!" banners share space with signs that read: "63 DAYS TIL PROM!" She inches her way along the wall until she is stopped by a guard who grabs her arm.</scene_description>
    <character>GUARD</character>
    <dialogue>Hey--where are you going?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, I'm a student. Most definitely a student. In high school. Here. I am going to class. With my fellow students.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(greeting random kids)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hi. Hi, there.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guard stares at her a beat and then motions behind them, to three huge metal detectors that the kids are filtering through. Josie smiles, "whoops," walks back.</scene_description>
    <character>GUARD</character>
    <parenthetical>(under his breath)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Freak.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SCHOOL LOBBY - MINUTES LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie's stuff lays out on the post-detector table - cell phone, laptop, mini tape recorder, electronic organizer, pager, being scrutinized by the guard. Josie's sure she's been found out. CAMERA WIDENS. Down from Josie, WE SEE other kids' belongings spread out. They have the identical high- tech equipment. The guard picks up Josie's nail file, examines it -</scene_description>
    <character>GUARD</character>
    <dialogue>Weapon.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And throws it in the trash.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - MORNING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie stares at her class card and eyes the classrooms, totally lost. She approaches a boy in a flannel shirt and loose jeans.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hi--um, I'm looking for Room 204, Ms. Knox?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>As soon as the boy starts to talk, we notice something in his mouth - a tongue pierce. Josie does too. We ZOOM IN on that shiny little metal ball. Josie is fixated. So fixated that we stop hearing the boy's voice. All WE SEE is the mouth - and that ball - moving. The mouth closes. He's done. Josie's face is contorted in imagined pain.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Ow.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(catching herself)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I mean, wow. Wow. Great directions. Clear. Concise.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And Josie takes off, totally embarrassed.</scene_description>
    <character>BOY</character>
    <parenthetical>(under his breath)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Freak.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - MORNING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie walks up to Room 204. Opening the door, she's met by a sea of faces. MS. KNOX, mid-forties, distracted but bubbly, sits in the front of the class.</scene_description>
    <character>MS. KNOX</character>
    <dialogue>Hi - hello. Wilkommen. Entre.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie walks in. Kids whisper and snicker.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Sorry I'm late.</dialogue>
    <character>MS. KNOX</character>
    <dialogue>Yes, well, I'm sorry I forgot to take my hot flash medication this morning. Josie, right? Please sit. Mi casa es su casa.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie makes her way to the desk, trailing marabou. The class titters. She sits in front of two girls, KIRSTEN and KRISTEN, beautiful and intimidating.</scene_description>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>That is so sad --</dialogue>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>I know, like five chickens had to die just so she could look that stupid.</dialogue>
    <character>MS. KNOX</character>
    <dialogue>Josie, in my classroom, tardiness is unacceptable --</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm really sorry --Ms. Knox pulls a ridiculously huge sombrero out from under her desk. The class laughs in recognition.</dialogue>
    <character>MS. KNOX</character>
    <dialogue>Not as sorry as I am.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Ms. Knox puts the sombrero on a less-than-thrilled Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>MS. KNOX</character>
    <dialogue>Ole! Ten minutes in this hat, you'll never be late again. So, let's hear something about you. Stand up. Stand up.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie does. The sombrero drops over her eyes. She adjusts it so she can read her notecards. CLOSE UP on the notecard --it's filled with precise script under a heading: MY PAST. She scans it, then flips the cards face-down on the desk. Confidently she begins --</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>My name is Josie. I'm a high school student. I came from --</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Just then the classroom door opens. WE SEE from Josie's perspective a blinding light, Josie squints. From the light emerges a shadowy vision of Billy Prince.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Billy?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie blinks, REVEAL not Billy, but a beautiful guy, Guy. He stands very close to her.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(catching herself)</parenthetical>
    <character>BALI.</character>
    <parenthetical>(another beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'm from Billy-Bali. It's a suburb of Bali proper.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Guy pushes past her, tosses a wooden hall pass to Ms. Knox, and moves to his seat.</scene_description>
    <character>MS. KNOX</character>
    <dialogue>Bali. Fascinating! What did your family do there?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie looks around in panic, sees a student in a South Glen South windbreaker with huge ram on the back.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>We were--sheep--farmers. We raised sheep. In Billy-Bali.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie realizes the trouble she's gotten herself into.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh my God.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(caught)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh my God--do I miss Billy-Bali.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>It had--a really great...aquarium.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She sits. Defeated.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie rushes down the hall, still toting her enormous bag. A huge banner - SOUTH GLEN, OUR NATION'S BEST PROM - hangs prominently. She talks covertly into a hand-held tape recorder.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Note to self--Research Bali. Kill Anita for picking out this outfit.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Find and destroy sombrero.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CLASSROOM - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie and her enormous book bag enter. She takes a seat toward the back of the room. Kristen, Kirsten and GIBBY, another beauty, enter and head to the back of the room. Kirsten and Gibby stand over Josie, staring at her.</scene_description>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>We sit here.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh. Sorry--I didn't know these were assigned.</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>They're not.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie quickly gathers her things and moves one row forward, next to two empty seats. TWO STONERS shuffle over to Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>STONER 1</character>
    <dialogue>Sorry. We sit here.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(indicating two empty seats)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Couldn't you two--sit there?</dialogue>
    <character>STONER 2</character>
    <dialogue>Right. Except there are three of us--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The Stoners eye each other, then the two seats. A look of horror comes over Stoner 1.</scene_description>
    <character>STONER 1</character>
    <dialogue>Dude--we left Jed at the 7-11!</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Again!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie picks up her stuff, moves to the last empty seat in the room-in the front row, surrounded by "nerds" who all wear orange Denominator sweatshirts. Sitting next to Josie is ALDYS, a Denominator--intense, wise, with a whole bunch of math medals on her sweatshirt. She smiles at Josie. Josie smiles back and looks up as MR. COULSON enters the room. He's a ruggedly handsome twenty-something Yale grad. He grabs a notebook out of his bag, goes around to sit on the front of his desk, sipping coffee from a Styrofoam cup.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Hi, everyone.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(Spots Josie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I don t think we've met. I'm Sam Coulson- although for some reason the school has this thing about not letting you guys call me Sam.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(shyly)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'm Josie. Geller. I think the school would probably be pretty comfortable with you calling, me that. Josie.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sam smiles.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Josie since you're new--I love to drink my coffee during class, and since I allow myself to do this, I allow everyone to bring beverages to class as well.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(a beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Welcome to Shakespeare's "As You Like It."</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Okay. How many of you actually read the assignment last night?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>About five hands go up.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Not bad. Now how many of you spent more than thirty minutes eating salty snack foods?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Twenty hands. Sam laughs.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Man. If I could just get you guys to read while you eat.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sam opens his book. Aldys notices Josie has no book. She moves next to her.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Here. We can share.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They share a smile.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>'As You Like It" is an example of a Shakespearean--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sam turns to the blackboard and starts writing. We CU on his butt, hardly discernible in his loose 501 jeans, all the girls swoon.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Pastoral Comedy. Anyone know what that means?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>An enthusiastic, if slightly dim girl, SERA, waves her hand.</scene_description>
    <character>SERA</character>
    <dialogue>Oh oh oh! That's what they do to milk!</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>That's pasteurize, Sera. But close. Same letter--</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(tapping three fingers on his arm a la charades)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>--three syllables--</dialogue>
    <character>SERA</character>
    <dialogue>Parakeet?!</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS:</character>
    <parenthetical>(sotto to Josie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>There's a minute of my life I'll never get back.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie smiles at this.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, anyone else---</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie can't contain herself.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Pastoral means set in the country. Originally seen in the Eclogues of Virgil. It's from the Latin pascere. To graze.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Student bleets like a sheep O.S. Sam just stares at her, smiling. Finally, he walks over and shakes her hand.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Did I mention to the class that I love our new student?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie beams.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Did I mention that the class also loves our new kiss ass?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie's smile quickly fades.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Gibby, that's not exactly the kind of participation I'm looking for.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gibby looks right at Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <parenthetical>(totally insincere)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Ooops. Sorry.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie just sits there, face burning.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie approaches her locker. She can't get to it because a COUPLE is busy making out against it. A GIRL'S VOICE comes over the loudspeaker. She's completely ignored.</scene_description>
    <character>GIRL'S VOICE</character>
    <dialogue>Hi. This is Sydney, Student Body President! Okay, first. Bad news- The' district didn't allocate enough funds, so as of this afternoon, there will be no music department. Now, about Prom--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The entire hallway FREEZES. The couple breaks their clinch and looks up. SILENCE. Josie is amazed.</scene_description>
    <character>SYDNEY'S VOICE</character>
    <dialogue>Voting on Prom theme has been completed. And the theme is--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>CU on expectant FACES.</scene_description>
    <character>SYDNEY'S VOICE</character>
    <dialogue>The Millennium!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>PANDEMONIUM. Kids cheer, gasp. One GIRL faints. The crowd surges again. Josie, caught in the flow, doesn't notice a locker door flinging open. She smashes her face right into it. Everyone, including Guy, turns and laughs. Even some Denominators. CUT TO: CU: A CAFETERIA TRAY Moves down the food line. It's piled with unidentifiable foods and three glasses of fluorescent red punch. Hands pull the tray out of the frame. INTO FRAME comes another tray, this one bearing a perfectly arranged place setting with three celery sticks on a plate. WIDEN TO REVEAL:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CAFETERIA - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie, pulling the perfect tray down the cafeteria line. She reaches some awful-looking Cole slaw in a big vat. A CAFETERIA GUY in a plastic cap hovers above it.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(to cafeteria guy)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Excuse me. What's in the Cole slaw?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The cafeteria guy hauls an industrial-size plastic tub onto the, counter and turns it-so Josie can read the label: "KOLE SLAW FOOD." Josie wrinkles her nose. She moves on to the cash register.</scene_description>
    <character>CASHIER</character>
    <dialogue>That'll be twelve ninety-five.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(stunned)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh my gosh. Wow. That's... pricey.</dialogue>
    <character>CASHIER</character>
    <dialogue>That's real meat in the ham sandwich.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie turns to a GIRL in line behind her.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Boy--that's a lot of bread for that bread!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The Girl rolls her eyes, reaches past Josie to grab a mustard bottle. Josie turns with her tray toward the room. CUT TO:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CAFETERIA - DAY (FLASHBACK)</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>4 KIDS stare at CAMERA and chant:</scene_description>
    <character>ALL</character>
    <dialogue>Josie Grossie--Josie Grossie--Josie Grossie.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE BACK ON JOSIE. She's seventeen. Standing with her tray, paralyzed. The CAMERA SPINS, showing us her back. There, tattooed in squeeze-bottle mustard, is "GROSSIE." A boy stands behind her victoriously holding the mustard bottle. CUT BACK TO:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CAFETERIA - SAME (PRESENT DAY)</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie shakes off the vision and stares out at the crowded cafeteria. She sees Kirsten, Kristen and Gibby, steels herself, and decides to approach. Kirsten is eating a bran muffin.</scene_description>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Kirsten, that bran muffin has like 75 fat grams.</dialogue>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Nah uh.</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, I read this thing that one bran muffin can be like two bran muffins sometimes.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kirsten pushes the muffin away.</scene_description>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>God. Food is so confusing.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Kirsten)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hi Kristen.</dialogue>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>It's Kirsten.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie plops herself down with these girls, and takes a spiral pad out of her big knapsack. In the process, she manages to spill her chocolate milk all over her white jeans.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>That'll teach me to wear white after Labor Day.</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Umm- I don't think you're supposed to wear white jeans after 1983.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They all laugh. Josie fakes a laugh, too.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Right, right.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie picks up her notepad and her pen.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>So - tell me about yourselves.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They all just stare at Josie in disgust. Guy approaches their table.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>I'm Guy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Guy looks at Josie. He's beautiful. She's flustered.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yes you are. A guy. Guy. Quite a guy. Oh my. Look at that--I rhymed.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yikes.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Bikes!</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <parenthetical>(very serious)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Are you in special ed?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie stands up, grabs her bag and her chocolate milk -</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Bye. Guy. Others.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She leaves the Cafeteria, passing a-couple of Denominators.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(to herself)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Aaaah! How old am I?</dialogue>
    <character>DENOMINATOR #1</character>
    <dialogue>Approximately six thousand three hundred and fifty days old-subject to adjustment for month of birth.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>This is very funny Denominator humor- to the Denominators. Josie leaves the Cafeteria.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie runs out an exit door and right into a SECURITY GUARD</scene_description>
    <character>GUARD</character>
    <dialogue>You got a pass?</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GYM - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>A banner above reads "PRESIDENTIAL FITNESS TESTING THIS WEEK." FIFTEEN SENIOR GIRLS, including Josie, in matching green and yellow polyester gym clothes do sprints up and-down the basketball court. Josie looks like she's about to die. Ms. Brown yells as she passes.</scene_description>
    <character>MS. BROWN</character>
    <dialogue>Move it Geller! Move it! Move it!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie stops, grabs the woman by the shoulders.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Must--have--water--</dialogue>
    <character>MS. BROWN</character>
    <dialogue>What do I look like, your waitress? Now you're gonna complete these sprints, cause if you don't you fail. And if you fail gym, you're NEVER GETTING INTO COLLEGE!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh--my--God--you guys are-still telling that lie--?</dialogue>
    <character>MS. BROWN</character>
    <dialogue>That's it Geller--drop and give me twenty!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie drops to the gym floor.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>It's - finally- the end of the day. Josie makes her way down the hall, clutching her pad of paper, getting pushed and shoved by kids as they storm outside. A huge banner hangs overhead reading: "SIGN UP FOR SENIOR NIGHT!" She tries to smile at some kids, but they all ignore her. She makes it to the main entrance to the school, where we see, as she shoves her pad of paper into her bag, it is completely blank.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PARKING LOT - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Kids fill the parking lot. Josie walks, talking on her cell phone.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Rhoda, make sure Gus gets-the whole message, okay? Yeah--bye--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie arrives where she parked Bambi. The space is empty. She still holds the phone to her ear--</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Wait a second--</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>No, not you--bye--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie shuts the phone, looks around...retraces her steps ... Bambi is gone. Josie walks around the lot, getting visibly upset. In the corner of the lot, WE SEE a group of Denominators removing a BIG METAL CHAIN from around a group of tightly packed cars.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>They do it to all the new kids.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie finds Aldys standing next to her.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Who's of they?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Aldys motions up to a second floor window. Guy and his Group look down on them, laughing.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Guy Perkins and his amazing Lemmings. They push your car out of its space, hide it, then watch while you look for it. We've taken to chaining ours together for safety. I'm Aldys.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm Josie. Aldys is an interesting name.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>When it's not yours. My mom was going through her Harlequin Romance phase.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Try being named after a guitar-playing pussycat.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Aldys doesn't get it.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Never mind.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>That is so awful that they hide your cars.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Guess.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Although, what is truly awful is that with the combined intellectual effort of every kid in that room right now-</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She points up to the biology room-</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>They still would not know the difference between a synecdoche and a hyperbole.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie laughs.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I know. It's pathetic.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Aldys stares Josie down.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Well, do you?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Synecdoche uses a part to represent a whole- as in "head of cattle", whereas a hyperbole is simple exaggeration like "I could eat a horse."</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Nice.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They stop and look around.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>How long will they watch us for?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Until Guy tells them to go. Once they watched me for like two hours. I found my car the next day in the T.J. Maxx parking lot.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Why do they listen to Guy?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS:</character>
    <parenthetical>(duh)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Because he's Guy Perkins.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS:</character>
    <parenthetical>(then)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Listen, you want to walk to Na-Na's and get something to eat?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah. Let's do that.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They start to walk out of the parking lot. Josie is visibly thrilled - having finally found a friend.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. NA-NA'S - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie and Aldys share a huge plate of chili fries.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah - isn't it amazing that those guys are our same age? I mean, they just seem so much younger, you know.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh I know.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A WAITER delivers two huge chocolate shakes.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>I'm going to be so happy to get to college. I hear at Northwestern they don't make fun of you for knowing the element table.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hey--I went to Northwestern!</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(a beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Once. To use the bathroom.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>OUT THE WINDOW, Josie sees her Buick with Rob at the wheel stopped at a red light. Detailed on to the side in big white script is: "THE TIKI POST". Josie's eyes widen. The light changes. Rob pulls away.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(So angry)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh. My. God.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(a beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You'll really like Northwestern.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They both slurp down their shakes.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>So what are your hopes, your dreams, what do you want to be?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Professor of medieval literature. Novelist. Weekend flautist.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Aldys takes another slurp of her shake. WE HEAR a muffled cell phone RINGING.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>I think your knapsack is ringing.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie takes the cell phone out of her knapsack and answers it.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hello?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WE INTERCUT WITH:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GUS'S OFFICE - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Gus speaks into his phone, knitting frantically.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Geller, I got your message. What the hell kind of story are you pitching?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie smiles awkwardly at Aldys, covering the phone.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>It's my dad. He worries.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hi, Dad. I miss you too.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>You're a sick puppy, Geller.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie indicates to Aldys she'll be right back and walks to the back of the restaurant by the pay phones.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(into the phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>It's an expose on cafeteria food.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>And you're leading with the terrible truth about cole slaw?!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Well, the bulk of it will be about the pimento loaf--</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Geller...you wanna be a reporter? Take a look at what sells!</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Sex scandals. Bribery. People jumping off buildings. So unless a kid just killed himself because he was being paid to have sex with the school mascot in a big vat of this cole slaw, you got nothing!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus slams down his phone.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(into a dead phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You didn't taste the pimento loaf.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She looks back to the table where Aldys is dividing the check.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. TRACK - HIGH SCHOOL - DUSK</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>In the middle of the track is Josie's car. The MARCHING BAND clumsily practices their formations around it. Josie and Aldys arrive at the car and Aldys pops the hood.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>They love to disconnect the battery, too.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She looks under the hood, reconnects the battery. Slams the hood down.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Just so you know, I think they recalled these cars in 1974.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Thanks.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Sure. No problem.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Aldys heads to the lot for her car, and then turns around.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Josie, how are you at Calculus?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Pretty good.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>How would you like to join The Denominators? The Math Team could really use a new brain. We lost our best logarithm guy last year.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>College?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>NASA.: (beat) Plus we have these really fun pizza study groups, and we go to-these all county meets. And, I mean, not that you need it, and without sounding too much like the Godfather, I think we could offer you a certain amount of protection", if you know what I mean. We all kind of stick together and watch out for each other. Josie smiles. MUSIC UP: SCHOOL HOUSE ROCK'S "Magic Three" AS WE BEGIN MONTAGE:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie and Denominators walk down the hallway in unison, past Guy's Group, open their lockers in order a la "RESERVOIR DOGS", take out paper, pencils, calculators.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. - HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie and Aldys, both wearing big orange Denominator sweatshirts, are behind a table manning a bake sale. A banner behind them says: n = 3.14578697786978 Pie = $.75 No one is stopping to buy anything. Josie points to the left, Aldys looks, and Josie stuffs a whole brownie in her mouth. They laugh uncontrollably as Josie starts to choke and cough up most of the brownie. We PAN DOWN a row of nervous looking Denominator faces as they watch Josie, sitting head to head against a DIGIT, an opposing Math-a-lon competitor. They both work furiously on a problem. A judge sits between them. A makeshift scoreboard hanging off the desk shows the score is tied. Josie bangs the bell on the desk and hands the judge her card. He looks it over, and gives her team five points. They win. The Denominators erupt into cheers. They're jumping all over Josie, going crazy. As we go wider we see the gym is entirely empty, except for a handful of Denominators going crazy on one side, and a janitor sweeping up on the other.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. MALL BOOK STORE - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Smiling at each other, Josie and Aldys clutch books excitedly and stand in line. WE WIDEN to reveal they're in line with NERDY ADULTS also clutching their books. At the head of the line is a blow-up poster for The New Elements Of Grammar. An OLD MAN signs books for his fans.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>It's late. Josie is typing on her laptop, referencing notes from her notebook. Schoolbooks and homework are spread around her. END MONTAGE.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CLASSROOM - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Sam is perched on the desk. The usual players in their usual seats. Aldys is standing and reading from her book.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS:</character>
    <parenthetical>(reading)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>"All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players."</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Anyone have any idea what Shakespeare meant by that?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>No one answers.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Anyone? Sera ... Megan ... exchange student who doesn't speak English?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>We CU on the students, ending on an Asian boy who smiles wildly at Sam and waves. Sam smiles, and waves back.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>It's about disguise, playing a part. It's the theme of "As You Like It." Can anyone tell me where we see that?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Well, Rosalind disguises herself as a man and escapes into the forest.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Right. And it's when she's in costume that she can finally express her love for Orlando. See, Shakespeare's making the point here that when we're disguised, we feel freer.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>We can do things we wouldn't do in ordinary life.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>CU on Josie's face. She's clearly uncomfortable. Sam walks up to a huge football player, BRETT.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Brett when you go out on the football field in your uniform, what happens?</dialogue>
    <character>BRETT</character>
    <dialogue>We win?</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>You hit people. You yell. You touch other guys' butts.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The class giggles. Brett looks horrified.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>But it's okay, because you're in uniform. Disguise changes the rules</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I had these Spiderman pyjamas. I thought when I wore them, that I had super powers. One night I tried to walk up the side of the garage.</dialogue>
    <character>SERA</character>
    <dialogue>Did you make it?</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>To the Emergency Room. Yeah.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie smiles at this, a little smitten.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Josie, why don't you read from Act 5, Scene 2, Rosalind's speech--Josie stands up, starts reading--</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>"No sooner had they met but they looked; no sooner looked but they loved; no sooner loved but they sighed..."</dialogue>
    <scene_description>JOSIE'S VOICE BEGINS TO FADE AWAY-</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CLASSROOM - DAY (FLASHEACK)</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>ANGLE BACK to Josie, now seventeen and mortified, nervously standing in class and reading a poem. Billy Prince sits to the side--she glances at him throughout the poem, it's clearly about him.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Does he notice me? Does he hear my heart screaming his name-- sometimes it's so loud I think the Gods can hear my pain. His voice is so mellifluous, oh to get just one small kiss.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The CLASS laughs at her except for Billy, who smiles at her, looking slightly touched.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL LIBRARY - DAY (FLASHBACK)</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Seventeen-year-old Josie is surrounded by an elaborate, color- coded index card system for her research paper. Her friend, SHEILA, over-weight and pimply, comes running across the library at breakneck speed. She sits down next to Josie, visibly excited and pushes her index cards aside.</scene_description>
    <character>SHEILA</character>
    <dialogue>O.K., what have you wanted for like ever but you didn't think it would - ever happen?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie looks at her for a moment, mulling it over.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>That they'd start an Olympic team for grammar - like diagramming sentences and verb declensions and stuff. And I'm scouted for the team- just as an alternate, of course- because I'm so young. But then there's talk of me in the '96 games-</dialogue>
    <character>SHEILA.</character>
    <dialogue>No-, better. Something better.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie smiles.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm the most popular girl in school, and Billy Prince is taking me to prom.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie laughs at the absurdity. She looks at Sheila. Sheila is dead serious.</scene_description>
    <character>SHEILA</character>
    <dialogue>Yes.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>SHEILA</character>
    <dialogue>Billy Prince is asking you to prom.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Why?</dialogue>
    <character>SHEILA</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>The poem! I knew he liked the poem!</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(all sinking in)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Billy Prince is asking me to the prom.</dialogue>
    <character>SHEILA</character>
    <dialogue>That's what I'm saying.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The two girls look at each other. Big smiles erupt into screams, as they jump up and down, hugging each other. SFX - The BELL RINGS.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SAM'S CLASSROOM (PRESENT)</stage_direction>
    <character>SAME</character>
    <dialogue>It's the end of class. Students pack their bags.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <parenthetical>(calling out)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>O.K. - just a reminder. Your paper is due in one week.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Aldys and Josie head out of class and down the hallway towards their lockers. Josie stops in front of hers where the Makeout Couple continues their clinch, blocking her locker. Josie pauses frustrated as Sydney's Voice comes over the loudspeaker.</scene_description>
    <character>SYDNEY (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>Hey guys! Bad news--Chem wing is closed. The Hazardous Materials Crew is on the way. Now, about prom.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The entire hallway STOPS to listen. The make-out Couple stop making out.</scene_description>
    <character>SYDNEY (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>Please join a committee--because we are going to KICK NORTHGLEN'S BUTT and make millennium the best prom EVER!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The hallway erupts in CHEERS. Josie makes a move to go for her locker. The Make-out Couple are faster. They're back in their clinch, blocking Josie again. CU ON GUY walking with his group.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Rufus! Prom is gonna be Rufus.</dialogue>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Rufus?</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah. I made it up. Start using it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE BACK ON JOSIE AND ALDYS.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>What is with this school and prom?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Southglen South competes every year for best prom, and usually they win. We Denominators don't even go to prom. -But to everyone else it's huge.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Aldys, don't miss your prom--it only happens once.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>This one has been so hyped. We're tied for most wins with Northglen North. This year's winner will determine the winner of the century.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The theme is everything. So whatever Southglen picks has to be totally unique--</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. NORTHGLEN NORTH HIGH SCHOOL - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>KIDS all stare at a loudspeaker.</scene_description>
    <character>KID'S VOICE: (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>And this year's prom theme is--the millennium!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The Northglen kids go crazy.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SOUTHGLEN HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie reaches for her knapsack, and realizes she left it in English.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I left my bag in English. I'll see you later.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie dashes down the hallway.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CLASSROOM - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Sam still sits at his desk. He reads a book. Josie enters.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Whoa. Deja Vu.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Sorry. Forgetful.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie picks up her book bag. She notices the book Sam's reading--</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(excited)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Dorothy Parker--</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>You like her?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I love the way she writes.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Not the happiest of souls.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(reading out of book)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>"Art is a form of catharsis, and love is a permanent flop."</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>But I think she wanted to be happy, that's why she wrote. I mean, she was still writing about love, right?</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>True. I guess she hadn't completely given up hope.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(then)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Are you sure you're seventeen?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Sure, why?</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Because seventeen-year-olds do not like writers from the '30's. They don't even like people in their 30's.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Well, I'm definitely seventeen and</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(off clock)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>now definitely late--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And she smiles and runs out.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. ALDYS' CAR - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Aldys drives, Josie has shotgun and TYKE, Aldys' nine-year- old sister, is in back. They all hold double-scooped cones and they all sing FREE TO BE YOU AND ME at full voice.</scene_description>
    <character>TYKE</character>
    <dialogue>See, aren't you guys glad you took a break from that Denominator stuff. I mean, you shouldn't be spending your Saturday night studying the whole time.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>We should be spending it thinking of how we can better serve your baby- sitting needs?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They pull up at a red light, next to an abandoned drive-in. Josie peers in, and sees a BIG GROUP OF KIDS, standing around a bonfire drinking beers, talking, a few making out. She opens her window, sticks her head out, and tries to get a better look.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>What's that?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>That's the old drive-in. They call it "The Court". Now it's just a continuous party for Guy's group.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON: Gibby and Kristen talking by a car.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Sometimes I wonder what they talk about.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, I know.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>I mean, what if they just stupid to hide the fact that they're actually brainiacs with super powers and they're plotting to take over the world and make my life hell until I die?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON: THE COOL GIRLS.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>No. It's lather, rinse, repeat.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE BACK ON: ALDYS AND JOSIE Suddenly, Guy pokes his head in, startling everyone.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Wow, if it isn't Alpo. Coming out to sniff some hydrants?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie is frozen, but not Aldys.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, Guy, you on a little break from having an original thought? Ooops, I forgot, that's all the time.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tyke gets it, and laughs. Guy doesn't get it at all.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>You guys aren't seriously trying to hang out at The Court?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Oooh, cheap wine coolers and a fire in a trashcan. Where do I sign up?</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>And stay away from prom.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Last I checked--this was still a free country.</dialogue>
    <character>TYKE</character>
    <parenthetical>(singing)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>There's a land that I see, where the children are free-</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Guy's right in Aldys' face, leaning over Josie. Aldys starts to drive away. Guy keeps his head in the window while he runs alongside the car.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Look, geek, why don't you just go home and play with your calculator. Figure out how many lifetimes it will take you to get cool.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Guy stops running, and the car continues down the street.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Aldys seems a little shaken, Tyke continues singing.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Have you ever wanted to go to The Court?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Are you kidding, Josie? It's lame. All they do is stand around and get drunk. It's lame.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>It is?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Yes, it's lame.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, it sounds lame. Why would we want to go there, and stand around?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Exactly.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GUS'S OFFICE - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>CLOSE ON a newspaper headline: "THE COURT - SITE FOR PARTIES, DRUGS AND WEEKEND ARRESTS" - as Gus throws the newspaper down on his desk. Josie sits across the desk from him. She reads the headline, looking very surprised.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Josie, I am appalled.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie picks up the paper, and starts reading intently.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Jeez, so am I. I had no idea that these kids- let's see- turn to A14- She tries to turn to A14, but Gus grabs the paper out of her hands in a rage.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <parenthetical>(trying to keep his cool)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>No, I am appalled that I have a reporter in there, undercover, for almost three weeks now- I had to read about this in the Tribune.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh. Right.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus angrily tries to fold the paper back 'up. He's having a hard time. Josie tries to help, but he yanks it away. Gus reads aloud from the newspaper.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Responding officers found minors, marijuana, and cheap wine coolers when they responded to a call to break up a party at what Southglen High Schoolers have come to call "The Court." Seventeen-year-old Kristen Rey says, "Yeah, everyone who's anyone is at The Court on Saturday night."</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(disbelieving)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Kristen got a quote?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus looks up at Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yes, urm, she's right. I have learned it is a very popular place for the young people to go.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Have you been there?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Uhh, no.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Have you been to any parties?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Well, how would you define to parties"? Because we ordered a deli platter at this one Denominator drill session--Gus looks like he may combust. He opens the newspaper, finds what he's looking for, and shoves it in Josie's face.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>It is a picture of all of the popular kids at Southglen- Kristen, Kirsten, Gibby, Guy- they are all posing for the picture at The Court, smiling and holding beers.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>This is where the stories are. You are going to become friends with these people. You are going to party with them. You are going to hang out with them on weekends. When they go to prom, you are going to be in their same damn limo!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Gus I, the popular kids and I, we just don't- I mean, I don't think I can do this.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He points to the picture in the paper of the Popular Kids.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Do you even know these kids?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(trying)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>They hid my car--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus leans in very close.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Get to know them. Very well. Your job and my job depends on it.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(very small)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Depend on it. No s. Your subject is plural.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>OUT!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie grabs her knapsack and does.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. ANITA'S CUBICLE - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie runs through the bullpen, past Anita's cubicle. ROGER from op/ed enters. He and Anita smile flirtatiously.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Hi Roger from op/ed--</dialogue>
    <character>ROGER</character>
    <dialogue>Hi Anita from classifieds. We still on for tonight?</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Of course--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And he leans in and kisses her. She pulls away, confused. A beat. Anita kisses him again. Nothing.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <parenthetical>(can't believe she's saying it--)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Y'know what? No, I don't think we are on. I think I have to stay home.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(liking how it sounds)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yeah. I'm staying home! I don't know what I'll do there, but I'm gonna do it. Alone!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Roger walks off.</scene_description>
    <character>ROGER</character>
    <parenthetical>(under)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Freak.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. JOSIE'S PARENTS' HOUSE - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Rob opens the door still dressed in his Tiki Post outfit. He takes one look at Josie and knows that things are not good.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Are mom and dad here?</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>No. They're at the Franklin Hint Expo at the Skokie Holiday Inn.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Good.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She shoves her way into the house. Rob follows.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. DEN - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie storms into the den, and plants herself on the sofa. She sees that Rob has been watching baseball on T.V., and she turns it off.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I can't do it. I thought I could. I can't. I give up--I'm never going to be a reporter.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob sits next to her on the couch. He looks up at the T.V.- which is now off.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Did you catch the score?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie gives him a look of death.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>No, I mean, no big whoop.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I can't do this.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She pulls the article out of her purse, and shoves it at Rob. He sees the picture of all the popular kids at The Court.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>These girls are high schoolers? Damn, we've got some underage hotties on our hands, here!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Gus insists that I become friends with these kids. The popular kids. It's impossible.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Why is that impossible?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie's eyes get teary.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Rob, you don't know how it was for me back in high school. No one ever threw juice boxes at you in the hallway. You never dreamed about being popular- you already were. All I wanted was to be accepted, and they just fucking tortured me. I can't do all that again. I can't go back to Southglen South.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Oh my God! You're at Southglen South? They have a killer baseball team.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Rob. Please focus.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He puts his arm around her.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Jos, you've been to college, you're successful, you wash your hair now-- you're not Josie Grossie anymore.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Don't you realize how much I wanted to be you in high school? Just for one minute to feel what it was like to be popular?</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Come on! It's not that hard. All you need is one person. Once the right person thinks you're cool, you're in. Everyone else will be too scared to question it.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Is that true?</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Little known fact.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie takes this in.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Look, don't you wanna show them - Gus, Billy Prince, yourself--that you're not freaked out by the cool kids anymore? That you can go in there, be friends with them, and get your story?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yes, desperately.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Plus, if you quit you're no better than me.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Better than I...</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>That's the spirit!</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT - NEXT MORNING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie approaches the school. She's clearly made a new attempt at style- she's teetering on too-high platform shoes and showing a blending white midriff. No one pays much attention to her. GEORGE, thirty-something African-American, the epitome of cool, waves Josie over to an open van side door. Josie looks confused and scurries to the van.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(sotto)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>George! What are you doing here?</dialogue>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>Just get in the van, Josie.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GEORGE'S VAN - MOMENTS LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>High-tech surveillance wonderland meets seventies living room. Tape players and monitors share space with shag carpeting and a mini-fridge. Barry White PLAYS on a TAPE. George starts to wrap wire around Josie's waist. He pins a kid's plastic "captain's wings" onto her collar.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>What is this?</dialogue>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>Hidden camera.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Wings?</dialogue>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>We used it for our expose on overweight flight attendants--"Is That Why They Never Give You a Second Bag of Nuts?"</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm not doing this until I speak with Gus.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS (O.S.)</character>
    <parenthetical>(through speaker)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Geller, stop being a pain in the ass.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie looks all around.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Gus?</dialogue>
    <character>GUS (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>No, it's the Great and Powerful Oz. Now listen--you're in over your head. This is how it's gonna work. I review the tapes, I find your story.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>What if I say no?</dialogue>
    <character>GUS (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>I bet Good Housekeeping would go gaga over the cole slaw piece.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Off Josie's look of concern...</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. SCHOOL - MINUTES LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>A crush of kids flood up the stairs to the front door of the school. We see Kirsten, Kristen and Gibby walking three abreast ahead of Josie up the stairs. The Crowd parts around them. Josie heads towards them.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hey! Kirsten, Kristen, Gibby--What's up girlfriends?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The three girls pause and turn just as Josie, caught up in the moment, doesn't see a stray backpack on the stairs in front of her. Josie trips and-- JOSIE-CAM POV: The CAMERA FACE-PLANTS into the pavement.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GEORGE'S VAN - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>George watches the monitor, winces. JOSIE-CAM POV: The CAMERA still faces the pavement.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (O.S.)</character>
    <parenthetical>(small)</parenthetical>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COULSOM'S CLASSROOM - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie is standing, reading from her paper. Sam is rapt.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>And so it is Rosalind, in disguise, who is best able to see through the disguises of others. To say to Phebe, "Mistress, know thy self," to look at love from every angle, and to realize, finally, that she is in love with Orlando--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The BELL RINGS. Class is over. Josie puts her stuff away and starts to follow the Cool Girls out.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hey guys, wait up--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The Girls keep moving. Sam stops Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Josie, hold on.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(then)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You've been hiding something from me.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh I don't think so.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Your writing. It's amazing, Josie. You're really talented. And far less depressing than Dorothy Parker.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Thank you.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>So what are you thinking for college?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>College. Haven't really thought about it.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>That's crazy. I'll get you some applications.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh no no no no no. See, my family, we don't go to college.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>We just go right into sheep herding.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Josie you owe it to yourself to go. For your writing. You're a natural.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Thanks. Wow. That's--really nice to hear.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Josie, you're different. When you speak in class, I can tell--You actually feel the words--</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(touching heart)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>in here. They're alive.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Like-Eurdora Welty talked about the word it moon"? How for her it was like a Concord grape. "That Grandpa took off his vine and gave to me to suck out of its skin--"</dialogue>
    <character>SAM/JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>It --and swallow whole."</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They both take a breath in. Look away from each other.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GEORGE'S VAN - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>George watches the monitor.</scene_description>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>Uh oh.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GUS'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Anita sits on Gus's desk, watches the last scene on Gus's TV, engrossed. Gus walks in and stops the tape.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Showtime's over! Move-it! Back to work!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita climbs off his desk.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Gus, have you ever been in love?</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Leave.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Oh give it up, Gus. I'm just making conversation.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Love. Who knows what that is? Now circulation, deadlines, those I understand.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>You should go out every now and then, Gus; with some new ties the girls would be all over you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus stares down at his tie. But he's smiling--a little.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Go away. I have enough work here to last me all night.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Listen, I don't have any plans--you want some help?</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>No Roger from op/ed?</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Nope.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They share a smile.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie walks toward her locker, the Make out Couple is at it again. Josie's fed up. She taps the Boy on his shoulder.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Excuse me. Hi. Do you guys have some kind of schedule I could work around?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He ignores Josie and goes back to his Girlfriend. Aldys, in her Denominator sweatshirt decorated with pins, approaches Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, where's your sweatshirt?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>- uhh, must have forgotten-</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>No biggie. I have an extra in my locker. I'll get it for you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She starts to leave.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Oh - I almost forgot - I'll see you tonight at Big Cup. 7:30, right?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie looks confused.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Remember, that poet that we liked - the reading he's doing at Big Cup? I got us tickets.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Right. 7:30.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>I'm late for lab.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Aldys takes off. Josie looks down the hall, where Guy, Kristen and the others are all looking at a flyer pasted to the wall.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>That is gonna be such a sweet show. I am so there.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Guy looks at Tommy and Jason, who f follow his lead.</scene_description>
    <character>TOMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, yeah, man, I'll drive.</dialogue>
    <character>JASON</character>
    <dialogue>It's gonna be Rufalicious.</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You're using it wrong.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They head off, en masse. Josie goes and looks at the flyer: "JIMMY CLIFF TONIGHT AT DELLOSER HALL". Josie smiles.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. CLUB/DELLOSER HALL - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Marquee reads "Jimmy Cliff." A crowd has gathered by the door. Josie gets out of cab, and walks towards the club.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CLUB/DELLOSER HALL - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie enters the small, smoky club. She wears what she considers to be her "hip concert outfit," an outfit that completely clashes with the Rasta wear of the other concert goers. -She reaches the BOUNCER.</scene_description>
    <character>BOUNCER</character>
    <dialogue>You Drinking?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie notices the two Stoners from school standing behind her in line.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I am not 21. I am only seventeen and I still attend high school.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The bouncer stamps her hand. She looks down at her hand. WE CU ON her hand, reading DELLOSER. She enters as the two Stoners approach the Bouncer.</scene_description>
    <character>BOUNCER</character>
    <dialogue>Two of you?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A beat as the Stoners look at each other, realizing...</scene_description>
    <character>STONER 1</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Stoner 2)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh, Dude--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And they run out of the club.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CLUB/DELLOSER HALL - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>JIMMY CLIFF is playing. The crowd sits at tables, grooving. Josie approaches the bar. A guy turns around--it's Sam.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Josie--out on a school night.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A woman, LARA, emerges from the crowd. And puts her arm around SAM. An awkward beat.</scene_description>
    <character>LARA</character>
    <dialogue>Hi.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hi.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, right, sorry. Lara--Josie. Josie--Lara.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to Lara)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Josie's a student of mine.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to Josie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Lara's my-date.</dialogue>
    <character>LARA</character>
    <dialogue>Nice to meet you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Another awkward pause.</scene_description>
    <character>LARA</character>
    <dialogue>C'mon, c'mon, let's go dance.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The crowd roars over Cliff's next song as Lara drags Sam off into the crowd. Sam looks back briefly at Josie as we lose him into the crowd. ANGLE ON JOSIE She sees Guy's group sitting at a table and approaches an empty seat. They immediately scoot around so that the seat is taken. Undeterred, Josie sees a seat at the next table and sits down in it. She looks up to see that she is at a table of huge RASTAFARIANS. They all wear big Rasta hats and even bigger hair and are smoking a joint the size of Cuba. She smiles awkwardly.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hi. Is it okay if I sit here?</dialogue>
    <character>RASTA #1</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, ya mon. We accept all peoples. We are all about da' love.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie and the Rasta's start to groove to the music. Josie looks over at Guy's table, sees they are toking off a small joint and passing it around.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GEORGE'S VAN - CONTINUOS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>George and his DATE, a Pam Grier look-alike, sit close on the couch, grooving to the CONCERT PLAYING on the monitor and through the various speakers. CU on the monitor. JOSIE-CAM POV: The joint the size of Cuba is passed INTO FRAME. Josie's hand takes it. Catching sight of this, George and his Date exchange concerned looks. SMASH CUT TO:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CLUB/DELLOSER HALL - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie is high beyond belief, wearing a big Rasta hat and loudly laughing her ass off as the Rastas just stare. She can hardly keep herself in her chair.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Get it?! Get it?! He was a firecracker!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She lifts up Rasta 1's dreadlocks to get his ear.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(yelling)</parenthetical>
    <character>A FIRECRACKER!</character>
    <dialogue>And she cracks up again.</dialogue>
    <character>RASTA #1</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Rasta #2)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I don't love her.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rastas share looks ill around. Then Josie hears the first strains of "The Harder They Come"--</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh my God! This music rules!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And Josie proceeds to get up and take over the place--she's dancing on the table, getting up with the band and playing the bongos, all with absolutely no rhythm or style. But with a lot of whooping. The club is agog. ANGLE ON: Lara and Sam. They both look aghast.</scene_description>
    <character>LARA</character>
    <dialogue>She's a student of yours?</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <parenthetical>(in explanation)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>She's from Bali.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And as Josie continues to dance on stage, making a total fool of herself, Jimmy Cliff turns to CAMERA.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Freak.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S APARTMENT - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie is on the phone, and is in the process of finishing an entire pie.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm telling you, Rob! I think I did it! I'm totally in! I was soo cool tonight! You'd be so--</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(staring at fork)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You know what's a weird word? Fork.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(then)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Wait! Wait! Did I tell you about my new friends? I made friends with a whole table of Rastafarians! Not one, a whole table!</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(noting empty pie plate, suddenly serious)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh. My. God. Someone ate my entire pie.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>DISSOLVE TO:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S APARTMENT - NEXT MORNING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie is asleep where we left her, her head on her hand, empty pie plate nearby. She wakes, picks her head up. Looks down at her hand, the DELLOSER stamp is faint. CLOSE UP ON her forehead. There in block letters backwards is "LOSER". She looks up at the clock, which reads: 8:30. She's late. Very late. She grabs her book bag and her keys, and races out.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - MORNING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie strides confidently down the hallway, LOSER prominently on her forehead. She sees Guy and his Group.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hi Guy. Guys. Guy's Guys.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They stare, then snicker.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Hi loser.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The group laughs and joins in, saying "Hey Loser." Josie's face registers confusion. JOSIE-CAM POV: We move slowly down the packed hallway, the CAMERA shifting nervously amidst a sea of laughing kids. The LAUGHTER starts to ECHO. Josie starts to walk quickly, then run, through the gauntlet of' laughing and pointing kids.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GEORGE'S VAN - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>WE HEAR THE LAUGHING, the JOSIE CAM JERKS frantically from KID to KID.</scene_description>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>This can not be good--</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>JOSIE CAM P.O.V. WE HEAR Josie BREATHING HEAVILY as she runs past KIDS who all stare or LAUGH. She makes it to the Girls Room, pushes open the door.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GIRLS' BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie goes to the sink, splashes water on her face.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GEORGE'S VAN CONTINUOS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>George watches the monitor, HANDS splash water. A HAND grabs a paper towel. George can now see Josie reflected in the bathroom mirror. He sees the "LOSER" stamp on her forehead.</scene_description>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh man. Look up, girl. C'mon, Look up--</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GIRLS' BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie wipes her mouth. Throws the towel away. Goes to exit--</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GEORGE'S VAN - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>George is now apoplectic.</scene_description>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie pauses, goes back to the mirror. She looks up. Sees the stamp. Her hand goes to her mouth in horror. She runs into a stall. JOSIE CAM P.O.V.: WE FACE the toilet.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GEORGE'S VAN - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>George looks at the monitor in amazement.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GUS'S OFFICE - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>A Group is watching Gus's TV, including Burns (the hair plug man) AND HOWARD (arm casts). They are slack-jawed in shock. WE HEAR O.S. the SOUNDS of Josie VOMITING. Gus shakes his head sadly.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>It's like the All-Humiliation Network.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They all nod in agreement.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GIRLS' BATHROOM - MINUTES LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie is in the fetal position on the floor of a stall.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. DEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The den of Josie's parents' home. Josie is decked out. She's wearing a pretty hideous metallic pink dress, matching gloves, bag, shoes. She's shining her braces, using the T.V. screen as a mirror. The PHONE RINGS. Josie grabs it.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hey, Billy. I'm ready. Sure, I can just wait for you on the front porch. See you in a -uhh- jiffer.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She hangs up. Sixteen year old Rob, very cute and buff, enters. His pretty GIRLFRIEND is on his arm.</scene_description>
    <character>GIRLFRIEND</character>
    <parenthetical>(mouthing to Rob)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Jiffer?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob just shrugs.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. JOSIE'S FRONT PORCH NIGHT (FLASHBACK)</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie, in all her prom splendor, waits out on the front porch for her date. She sees a LONG, BLACK LIMO turn the corner, headed for the house. She's hopping up and down with excitement. She checks her reflection in her compact, and then watches the limo approach. The sunroof of the limo opens and Billy Prince, the Adonis of the suburbs, stands up, sticking out of the sunroof. He waves. Josie smiles and waves back. Then, another figure joins Billy's. It's a GORGEOUS BLONDE in a slinky dress. She's standing up, sticking out of the sunroof as well. Josie looks a bit confused, but still tries to smile. Then, she sees them holding things. LITTLE THINGS. LITTLE WHITE THINGS. Before Josie realizes what's going on, her metallic ensemble is covered in dripping, oozing eggs. One whacks her right in her trifocals.</scene_description>
    <character>BILLY</character>
    <parenthetical>(shouting)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hey, write a poem about this!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Billy and his date lob a few more eggs, and their limo roars off. Josie stands on the porch, alone. She's got egg in her hair, on her face, all over her dress- everywhere. She starts to cry. Softly at first, moving into big, loud, wet sobs. She sits down on the porch, her head in her hands, and just keeps crying. DISSOLVE BACK TO:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - (PRESENT) - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Homeroom has just gotten out, and the halls are packed with kids. Josie is running full speed, trying to negotiate around lots of kids, in her frantic-race for the door. Kids still point and stare. She bangs into some freshmen, gets whacked by a book bag, slides some banners that kids are painting - but she won't slow down. Just as she's almost at the doors to the school, the BIG WOODEN DOOR to the front office opens. Josie can't stop. A figure emerges, but before Josie can even see who it is, she slams into it and goes down. She bangs her head on the hard linoleum floor.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - (PRESENT) - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Homeroom has just gotten out, and the halls are packed with kids. Josie is running full speed, trying to negotiate around lots of kids, in her frantic-race for the door. Kids still point and stare. She bangs into some freshmen, gets whacked by a book bag, slides some banners that kids are painting - but she won't slow down. Just as she's almost at the doors to the school, the BIG WOODEN DOOR to the front office opens. Josie can't stop. A figure emerges, but before Josie can even see who it is, she slams into it and goes down. She bangs her head on the hard linoleum floor. DISSOLVE TO: JOSIE-CAM POV: WE SEE two KIDS looking down into the camera.</scene_description>
    <character>JASON</character>
    <dialogue>Hey--you okay?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Camera nods "yes" slowly. Tommy and Jason come into frame.</scene_description>
    <character>TOMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Wow. You took a pretty big fall.</dialogue>
    <character>JASON</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah. Like every loser should. And they move out of frame, laughing.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>As every loser should.</dialogue>
    <character>VOICE</character>
    <dialogue>Are you O.K.? Josie, are you O.K.?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob comes into frame.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Rob is bent over Josie. She rubs her eyes.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I've been in a horrible accident.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>This is a coma-induced nightmare.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>No. Josie, this is real.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She looks up.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh my God! That's worse!</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What are you doing here?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob leans in and whispers to Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>I just registered.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob whips out his fake ID and shows it to her.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <parenthetical>(proudly)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Manufactured at the Tiki Post.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob helps Josie up.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Are you crazy?! You can't do this.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>This is it Jos! This is my ninth inning! The game isn't over--I just thought it was! I get on the Southglen baseball team, the right scout sees me-- I'm into the minors- it's game time!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You're twenty-three years old!</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>With the reading comprehension of a fifteen year old! Plus, I'm popular... You want to be popular... I can recognize a cry for help when I see one.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hear one.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(then)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Rob, this is so like you.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You know, you can't just come in here and be popular in just one day.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>SMASH CUT TO:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CAFETERIA - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie emerges from the cafeteria line with her tray. A LOUD CHANT comes from one of the tables.</scene_description>
    <character>CROWD</character>
    <dialogue>ROB, ROB, ROB</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She turns to see Rob in the middle of a hot dog eating contest with a HUGE WRESTLER. Rob downs his last one, raises his hands in victory. The CROWD goes WILD. Rob sits down at Guy's table.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh my god.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON GUY'S TABLE</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Dude, you rock!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He high-fives Rob. A pretty girl, TRACY approaches Rob.</scene_description>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>Hi. I'm Tracy and I'm sixteen and I'm a gymnast and I don't have a boyfriend...</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <parenthetical>(looks skyward mouths)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Thank you.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(Then, to Tracy)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'm Rob.</dialogue>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>Duh.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE BACK ON JOSIE Aldys approaches.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Hey - where were you last night? I was worried.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie can't take her eyes off Rob sitting at Guy's table. Aldys notices Josie's distraction.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Last night. 7:30. Big Cup. I kept calling you, but I only got your machine. I don't even know your parents line and I was really worried.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh. I forgot.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Aldys is really hurt.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Well, maybe you should forget about sitting with us too.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie just stands there all alone.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. TRACK - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Girls P.E. is over. The girls head back to the locker room. Josie lags behind the group, and then wanders over to the baseball diamond, where she hears a bunch of hoots and hollers.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BASEBALL DIAMOND - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The team is practicing. Rob has just hit a home run with three men on. EVERYONE CHEERS him on as he runs the bases. As he comes into home, he is met with congrats, high fives. Everyone loves him. Josie watches the whole scene, seething with jealousy.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GIRLS' LOCKER ROOM - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie, post-shower, is wrapped in a towel and carrying her sweaty gym clothes. A group of GIRLS walk by her, giggling as they exit. She approaches her locker and finds it ajar and completely empty. She looks from the empty locker down to the sweaty clothes in her hand. A realization sweeps over her face.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie shuffles down the hall, still wearing her cheesy green and yellow gym clothes. She is clearly beaten. She looks down the hall, stunned. It is ridiculous Rob is being followed by a posse, everyone knows his name. Girls tug on his shirt, guys slap him on the back or high-five him.</scene_description>
    <character>JASON</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Rob.</dialogue>
    <character>TOMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Robster, what's up?</dialogue>
    <character>BRETT</character>
    <dialogue>The Rob man. My man Rob.</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Robbie.</dialogue>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Hi there Robbie Rob.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie sees Guy approach Rob, and shake his hand.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Hey Robo- how's it going?</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Nice pants, man. They are rufus.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Guy smiles. Josie looks like she's going to hurl. She looks down the hall the other way- where a huge banner hangs that reads: "IMPEACH SYDNEY ANAKOWSKI. ELECT ROB STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT.</scene_description>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>Hey Rob, see you at the carnival later?</dialogue>
    <character>STONER 1</character>
    <dialogue>It's Robilicious!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie looks on the wall next to her- and sees a list: "FINAL CAST LIST FOR HAMLET. HAMLET . . . ROB."</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, please.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie has seen enough, and walks on.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. CARNIVAL GROUNDS - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Establishing shot of a smallish carnival, Ferris wheel, midway, tea cups ride. Near the entrance reads a banner: "SOUTHGLEN HIGH SENIOR NIGHT".</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. CARNIVAL MIDWAY - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Aldys and the Denominators stand in front of a booth that displays a large glass jar of jellybeans. Calculators and paper out, they're engrossed in find the answer. Josie walks by alone. The Denominators don't notice her.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. THE FERRIS WHEEL - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>WE PAN DOWN the line of KIDS waiting to ride the Ferris wheel. In front are Tommy, Jason, Gibby and Kirsten.</scene_description>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>This has been so much fun! We've been first in line for every ride!</dialogue>
    <character>TOMMY</character>
    <dialogue>That's cuz we cut every line.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WE PAN DOWN to the end of the line, where we find Josie, standing alone. She's trying her best to keep her game face on. The CARNY opens the gate, the Kids pile onto the ride, two by two. Josie reaches an empty car--the last one--and gets in. The Carny holds the safety bar open.</scene_description>
    <character>CARNY</character>
    <dialogue>Where's your partner?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I don't--I don't have one--</dialogue>
    <character>CARNY</character>
    <parenthetical>(yelling loudly)</parenthetical>
    <character>I GOT A LONELY RIDE IN BUCKET SEVEN!</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Crowd)</parenthetical>
    <character>SINGLE!</character>
    <dialogue>JOSIE</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Do you have to yell like that? Sam, standing by a vendor, looks over and notices Josie's predicament.</scene_description>
    <character>TOMMY (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>Of course it's Loser that's holding up the ride!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sam walks up to the Josie's bucket.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>This seat taken?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(relieved)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Thank you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He gets in. The ride JERKS into motion.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <parenthetical>(nervous)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Whoa.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They start a slow ascent. Sam seems ill at ease.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Are you--scared?</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>I'm gonna tell you something here, and I hope it doesn't undermine my position as an authority figure. I'm a little afraid of heights.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You're afraid of the Ferris wheel.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Actually, it's more the plunging head first into the crowd part that gets me.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh right. The Spiderman incident.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <parenthetical>(touched)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You remember that story?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Of course. I remember everything from your class.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They smile at each other. The smile is interrupted by a HEAVY SWAYING of their bucket, caused by Tommy ROCKING in the bucket ahead. Sam looks a little green.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Yoooooow.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Don't look down!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They're facing the ground at this point.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Out of my control.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <parenthetical>(yelling to Tommy)</parenthetical>
    <character>TOMMY! CUT IT OUT! ENOUGH!</character>
    <dialogue>Tommy stops. Sam turns to Josie.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <parenthetical>(defensive)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I said that as a chaperone.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They start to ascend again. Sam relaxes.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Okay. This is okay. Smooth.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(then)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Can I ask you something? Do you think I tell too many stories in class?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>That's what makes you interesting.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat, recovering)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>As a teacher.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>God, I would love to think I'm an interesting teacher. I mean, I had maybe one or two teachers in high school who had any passion at all.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You do. Seem to. Have passion. In the classroom.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>You have to say that. You're my student.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I don't have to say that.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They look into each other's eyes just as Tommy RATTLES his bucket ruthlessly.</scene_description>
    <character>TOMMY (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>IF THE BUCKET'S A-ROCKIN', DON'T</dialogue>
    <character>COME-A KNOCKIN'.</character>
    <dialogue>Josie and Sam laugh uncomfortably.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Boys.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I know.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>I'd like to tell you that we all grow out of it, but that's a lie. Some of us will always be rattling cages.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Why do you do that?</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know. And you know what's scary--when you get older it just gets more confusing. I've spent the last ten years with women who are basically all wrong for me.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You know what, I shouldn't be talking about this stuff with you.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>That's okay. It's nice to have someone to talk to--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The bucket is rocked again by Tommy--Sam grips the safety bar.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <parenthetical>(as he rocks)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Same here.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They stop rocking but they're still stuck at the top.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>All I can tell you is that when you're my age, the guys will be lined up around the block for you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They share a smile.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(suddenly shy)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You have to say that. You're my teacher.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>I shouldn't say that, because I'm your teacher.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They look at each other, their smiles fading into realization. Suddenly, the car jerks, and they start to move down. Josie and Sam are pulled out of their reverie. They smile awkwardly at each other and laugh a small laugh. WIDE SHOT of the Ferris wheel as Josie and Sam descend.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Thanks, Josie. This wasn't as bad as I thought.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>When are you going to open your eyes?</dialogue>
    <character>SAM (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>I'm thinking when I'm home.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BASEBALL DUGOUT - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Rob sits with a bunch of BASEBALL PLAYERS. MATZ and PACKER, the studs of the team, come into the dugout and join them.</scene_description>
    <character>PACKER</character>
    <dialogue>Hey Rob, thanks for showing me that new grip. It totally changed my swing.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>No problem, man.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They do one of those elaborate, fraternity-like handshakes. Out of the corner of his eye, Rob sees Josie walking alone across the field. He gets an idea.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, you guys know that girl, Josie Geller?</dialogue>
    <character>MATZ</character>
    <dialogue>You mean "Loser"?</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>No, dude, Josie. We used to go out and she dumped me. But we're still good friends. And she is… amazing, if you know what I mean.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guys are all stunned.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. BIOLOGY CLASSROOM - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Gibby stands staring at a skeleton with Rob and the Cool Girls.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>All right--that's it. Just water and Ex-Lax till prom.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Hey--Josie's Dad invented that stuff. Josie's like the heiress to the Ex- Lax fortune.</dialogue>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(impressed)</parenthetical>
    <character>SHUT UP.</character>
    <dialogue>ROB</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Yeah. She's loaded. She spends all her vacations on the family yacht in the south of France. They react.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. TRACK - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Rob stands behind the bleachers with Tommy, Jason, and Guy.</scene_description>
    <character>TOMMY</character>
    <dialogue>No way.</dialogue>
    <character>JASON</character>
    <dialogue>She used to date the drummer for The Big Bad Voodoo Daddys?</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>No way. I always wanted to be a drummer.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah well, she left him for the drummer from "Sister Hazel." Y'know the song "All for You?"</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>That was about Josie?</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(impressed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Rufus…</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CAFETERIA - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie turns with her tray after paying. Aldys sees her.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Josie--I'm really sorry I snapped at you. Do you wanna--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie sees Rob waving her over to "the table" where Kristen, Gibby and the gang sit.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, Aldys, y'know, I have to--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And Josie walks over to Guy's table, leaving Aldys staring after her. Josie sits down at the table. Everyone stares at her.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Hey Josie. It's Josie, right?</dialogue>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Can I just say--I totally love Ex- Lax.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(confused)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Okay, that's good to know--</dialogue>
    <character>TOMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I can't believe you dated Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie shoots a look at Rob.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, I told you--Josie doesn't like to talk about that.</dialogue>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, Tommy, that's totally gochay.</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>I think it's pronounced gauche.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah it's French. There's no accent aigue, so the e is soft.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A silent beat. Josie thinks she may have blown it.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Duh, of course you would know that. From being on your yacht in the south of France.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They all smile at her. Josie soaks in her newfound popularity.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SCIENCE CLASSROOM - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>On the walls are SAFE SEX posters. On the front desk, pamphlets on sexually transmitted diseases share space with plastic biology cross-section models of male and female reproductive organs. Sam stands in front of his English class, impatiently looking at his watch. Josie looks up from her desk, sees Anita waving wildly from the other side of the glass door. Josie's eyes widen, she starts to make "get out of here" movements. Sam notices Josie and follows her gaze to Anita. He opens the door, speaks sotto to Anita.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Hi. You're here for the sex talk?</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <parenthetical>(happily taken aback)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Well. I like a man who gets to the point.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>You're Pam?</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <parenthetical>(frisky)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>If you say so.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sam turns to the class.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Welcome juniors and seniors, this is Pam Kitterman. She's our district health counselor. She's here to lead our sex discussion.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He ushers a surprised Anita to the front of the room. Josie reacts.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>I am? Oh, I am. Hi. Okay. Sex. Yes, well, sex. What's to say really, y'know? You like a guy, you do it. Sometimes he calls. Sometimes he doesn't.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita leans into Josie, talks sotto.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <parenthetical>(whispering)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hi!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(also whispering)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What are you doing here?!</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>I had a lunch break so I thought I'd come by and see you. Your teacher is a fox!</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(then normal voice to Josie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Why don't we discuss that after class. But the burning is totally normal.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(looking at watch)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh look. Class is over already.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>I thought this was a 45-minute seminar.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Right. Right.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita walks back to the front of the classroom.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, sex. Let's see. Sex is really fun.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(off Josie's look)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>When you're old enough. Which none of you are, trust me I should know cuz when you lose it to some guy named Junior with really bad breath in the back of a van at a Guns and Roses concert you're gonna wish you listened to your Mom when she said, y'know, no one's gonna want to buy the whole friggin ice cream truck when you're handing out the popsicles for free.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>There's a deafening silence. The kids are amazed.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Okay. Any questions?</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SCIENCE CLASSROON - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The Kids all have bananas and condoms. They are in various stages of putting the condom over the banana. Anita walks among them, clearly more comfortable with her role now.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Okay. I know it's hard.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Titters from the group.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Difficult. But safe sex is really important. I try to practice it every day.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie reacts. ANGLE ON KIRSTEN & KRISTEN. THEIR CONDOMS ARE SNUGLY ON their bananas. They stare at Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Wait, rewind.</dialogue>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Do you really think she hooked-up with our Rob? They're so--different.</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Sometimes opposites attract.</dialogue>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah. Look at Bert and Ernie.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WE ANGLE ON ANITA. She's walking authoritatively up the aisle towards the front.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>So just..imagine the bananas are the real thing.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She takes a rather large banana off a desk and looks at it. She snorts.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>In a land called "every man's fantasy".</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She looks up, sees the real MISS KITTERMAN (we can tell from the model of a uterus she carries), standing outside the door and waving. Without missing a beat, Anita pulls down a shade on the door and locks it. ANGLE ON: JOSIE AND TRACY still struggling with condoms.</scene_description>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>God, I can't do this.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe because we're not supposed to be having sex with bananas.</dialogue>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>You know what, though? I feel like I'm really ready to do it. To have sex for the first time.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Wow. That's big. I mean sex is a really big deal. You shouldn't do it until you know you've found the right person.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON SAM, listening. Josie is oblivious.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You know, Adele penguins pick one mate.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>They spend their whole life looking for that one other penguin and when they find it, they know. That's the penguin they stay with for the rest of their lives.</dialogue>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>But I'm not a penguin.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>It's an analogy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A surprised Josie looks up to see Sam next to her. She lets her condom go. And it flies off her banana into his face. Josie turns to Tracy.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Excuse me. I have to go die now.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The class is interrupted by Sydney over the loudspeaker:</scene_description>
    <character>SYDNEY (O.S.)</character>
    <parenthetical>(over speaker)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hey guys--Sydney again! Don't forget-- No going into the library cuz of that little asbestos problem. And about prom-</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Everyone freezes. Dead silence.</scene_description>
    <character>SYDNEY</character>
    <dialogue>Really bad news. We just got the word from intelligence-- Northglen High is doing the Millennium too!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Complete chaos. SCREAMING terror. A GIRL faints. Sera squeezes her banana so hard it oozes out of its skin. Other KIDS are beating their bananas against desktops. Brett, the football player, absentmindedly peels his banana and begins eating it.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>All right guys, let's calm down. Calm down.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(no response)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Sit!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They all do, including Anita.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Now look. Let's focus. Prom theme. We need a new idea.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>OH! How about "Under the Sea?"</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She's met with a round of "boos". Anita reacts.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Well excuse me.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>What about the "Roaring Twenties"… or "The 80's"?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The Class lets out a GIANT GROAN on that one.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>What do you think we are? Amateurs?</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Josie.</dialogue>
    <character>SERA</character>
    <dialogue>That's not a theme.</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>No, Josie will have the answer.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A long beat. Expectant faces all turn to Josie. She looks at Tracy.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>How about--'</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(coming to her)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>meant for each other--Famous couples throughout history?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Another beat as the Class considers.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <parenthetical>(smiles and nods)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yeah. That's it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The Class suddenly CONCURS.</scene_description>
    <character>CLASS</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah. /That's it. /Rufus.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie soaks in all the approval like a sponge.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Thanks. Thank you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie looks from Sam and Anita's smiling faces to find Guy smiling at her. CLOSE UP ON A BANNER reading: "MILLENNIUM". It comes down, replaced by one that reads: "MEANT FOR EACH OTHER... WIDEN TO REVEAL:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie and the Cool Girls walk under the banner, laughing. We PAN UP to their lapels and see that they are all wearing replicas of Josie-'s geeky airplane pin. They pass Aldys, Josie is oblivious.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. MALL - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie and the Girls walk four abreast, like a pack of proud lions. Kids part to let them through.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SUN TIMES BULLPEN - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>WORKERS look at their watches, run into Gus's office.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GYM PROM PREP AREA - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Sam and Josie have fun painting a backdrop of the sunset.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GUS'S OFFICE - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Workers stand around Gus's TV, riveted by Josie and Sam.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. DEPARTMENT STORE - COSMETIC COUNTER - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie and the Girls try on lipstick, laughing and fooling around.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. MUSIC ROOM - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie and Sam pick out CDs from a DJ's case. Josie picks one out and puts it in the "yes" pile. Sam picks it up, wrinkles his nose, puts it back. When he looks away, Josie sneaks it back.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. TEEN CLOTHING STORE - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie's hiding behind a rack of clothes, talking on her cell phone.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'm telling you Gus. It's a great story. They keep the tags on, then return the clothes after they've worn them.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Gus?--Gus?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kirsten discovers Josie behind the rack. Josie quickly pulls a cardigan off a rack, feigning interest in it. The Girls all do the same.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HALL CONCOURSE - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie and the Girls, wearing matching cardigans, walk past Aldys and another Denominator on their way to the escalator. Josie and Aldys lock eyes and Josie smiles but Aldys turns her back to her.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Denominator)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Look, there goes another Lemming.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WE ANGLE ON the escalator as Josie and the Girls rise single file out of- FRAME.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BASEBALL STANDS - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie sits with her new friends, emulating them by sunning in a bikini top and shorts while they watch the game.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Josie, you have totally transitioned.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Transitioned?</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>You crossed over.</dialogue>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Into our group.</dialogue>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>It's really hard to do. Some kids try for all of-high school and never make it.</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Wannabes. Kirsten transitioned last year.</dialogue>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Her dad sold a car to Leonardo Di Caprio's uncle and before he picked it up, her dad let us all sit in it and take pictures.</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY:</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Josie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Wait. Do you know any gay guys?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Why?</dialogue>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>We'd love to transition a gay guy into the group.</dialogue>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>We're very evolved.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ON THE FIELD A BALL sails fast and hard. It looks like it's going to be a base hit, into left Field, but the shortstop leaps up and grabs it. That shortstop is Rob. The Team cheers. Coach Romano heads out of the dugout towards Rob. IN THE STANDS Josie and the Gang leap up and cheer. Josie almost loses her top, but catches it, just as Guy comes around the side of the stands and notices Josie.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BASEBALL DIAMOND - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Coach Romano approaches Rob. Slaps him on the back.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH ROMANO</character>
    <dialogue>Great playing, Rob. You might be just what Southglen South needs to get to Nationals.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>I'm playing in the championship game?</dialogue>
    <character>COACH ROMANO</character>
    <dialogue>Playing? You're starting shortstop. And I don't mean to put more pressure on you but there are going to be some pro scouts there.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Oh man!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob grabs Coach Romano in a bear hug. The Coach is uncomfortable. Rob moves towards the dugout and the Coach happily slaps him on the ass.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BASEBALL STANDS - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie and the Girls are leaving. Guy catches up to them and taps Josie on the shoulder.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>So--you going to the party at Rob's?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie's taken aback. The Girls notice Guy's interest.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Rob's?</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, you gonna be there?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie stumbles on a step Guy immediately reaches out to steady her. She melts. She can't even speak, so she just nods.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Good. I'll see you tonight.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Guy walks off.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>He is totally crunching on you.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(confused)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Do I want to be crunched?</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>By Guy?</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY/KRISTEN/KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh yeah.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SUN TIMES ELEVATOR - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>CAMERA PANS the faces of some dull-looking workers. It stops on Josie, who stands out in her teen garb and huge knapsack. A star struck female WORKER turns to her.</scene_description>
    <character>WORKER</character>
    <dialogue>I really loved you in the sex-ed scene.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie reacts.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. BULLPEN - CONTINOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie spills out the elevator and races through the bullpen with Rhoda in pursuit.</scene_description>
    <character>RHODA</character>
    <dialogue>Splendiferous--Josie stops, turns back to her.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Totally.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie keeps going. A confused Rhoda stares after her. She passes Merkin's desk. He is still on the phone.</scene_description>
    <character>MERKIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>No way ... Yeah? ... No way.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie reaches over, grabs the phone out of his hand and hangs up without missing a beat. She continues on as Merkin stares after her. Josie reaches the conference room door. An older WOMAN runs out crying.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Rigfort presides over a staff meeting. CLOSE UP on stunned office WORKERS' faces.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>Alrighty then--next on the agenda- sack races at the company picnic-yes or no?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie sneaks in. She pushes past workers to get to a chair, big backpack whacking them as she goes.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hi. Sorry I'm late.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(pushing past chairs)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Sorry. Excuse me--Josie takes the chair next to Anita's. Anita looks her up and down.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <parenthetical>(sotto)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I love that jacket.</dialogue>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>Miss Geller, what's the status on your story?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh it's great. Totally Rufus.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus and Anita look at each other, both mouthing "Rufus?"</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I have, um--Josie dumps out her backpack on the table. Teen items spill out-notebooks, CDs, barrettes, a hacky sac, a Frisbee, glitter nail polish. She rifles through it all--</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>--notes here somewhere-</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(picking up paper)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>There's my math homework!</dialogue>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>Geller, I don't need your notes. I need your story. Though I speak for everyone when I say I've seen the tapes. Compelling stuff.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>All the workers nod in agreement.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>But I want a story in two weeks.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>I'm saving the "Life and Style" cover for you. You're gonna make one hell of a reporter. Oh, and if you don't, you and Gus are fired. Josie and Gus react.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>Now, onto the next order of business. Marketing department-yes or no?</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. JOSIE'S PARENTS' HOUSE - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Beer cans and kids litter the lawn. Josie pulls into the driveway.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S PARENTS HOUSE - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie makes her way through the THRONGS OF KIDS. It's a big high school "rager" lots of big blue keg cups, drunk girls, etc. The cool Girls are present and socializing. Josie finally makes her way to the kitchen.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. KITCHEN - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Rob is mixing margaritas, wearing a big sombrero. Tracy sits on the counter, gazing lovingly at Rob's every move.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hey Rob, what's going on?</dialogue>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>I'm Rob's prom date.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie glares at Rob.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Really?</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(pulling Rob aside)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Rob-, that girl is sixteen.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>And a gymnast!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>She's sixteen years old, Rob. That's totally and completely illegal.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie feels an arm around her shoulder. It's Guy.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Hey there.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hey. There.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Guy takes Josie's hand.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Come here. I want to ask you something.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob watches them leaving the kitchen.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Josie, calling after)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>See you around the cellblock, Mrs. Robinson.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie turns around and gives him a death look. Tracy turns to Rob.</scene_description>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>Rob, what do you want to be when you grow up?</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Well, a ball player.</dialogue>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>No, I know. But, what if you don't make it? 'I mean, you don't want to be working at a mail place the rest of your life. It's okay for an after school job, but, come on, "Hi, I'm Rob and I run the Tiki Post"?! Totally lame.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tracy starts to giggle. Rob does not.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Guy and Josie stand in front of Josie's old room. A bicycle license plate that says-"JOSIE" is nailed to the door. She stands in front of it.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe we should go in a different room?</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>I already checked. There are some pretty serious couples in there.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Guy reaches for the doorknob.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S OLD BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>They go in. Josie sees her spelling bee trophies- with her name. She turns them around, trying to appear nonchalant. As Guy enters, he eyes the trophies, the stuffed animals, the many sets of encyclopedias.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Wow, Rob's sister must be such a loser.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie manages a weak smile. Guy sits on the bed.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Come here, sit down.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She sits on the bed, and then sees a picture of her and her family on the bedside table. She dives across the bed to overturn it.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>I'm sure you've probably heard that I want to ask you, but I'd like to know if you'd go to prom with me. I know we didn't hit it off right at the beginning but-</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yes. I'll go. Yes.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Guy leans in as if to kiss her and whispers...</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Rufus.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(then pulling away)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>But I don't even know where you live.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You know what? Why don't you just pick me up here? We could all share a limo.</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Cool. I'll catch you later.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Guy leaves. Josie is ecstatic and flops back on her bed. Stuffed animals fall all around her.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie and Rob walk confidently through the hallway. Kids greet and high five them both.</scene_description>
    <character>JASON</character>
    <dialogue>Hey Jos. Hey Robster.</dialogue>
    <character>BRETT</character>
    <dialogue>Looking good guys.</dialogue>
    <character>TOMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Hey Jos. Rob, rufus kegger.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob and Josie turn the corner.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Rob, this is unbelievable. I mean-- Josie shoves through the double doors leading into the gym.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GYM - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The place is a flurry of activity, a staging area for prom. Various committees are set up at tables throughout the room. Josie and Rob enter.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>--I spent my whole life wanting to fit in, and now--Gibby and Kirsten run up to Josie.</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Hey Josie- who did Archie date Betty or Veronica?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Betty.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gibby turns to Kirsten.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Told you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And they move off. Rob spots Tracy and moves off to her.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>I always liked Betty better.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie turns, sees Sam.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You did?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And they begin to walk through the prom prop area, and it begins to appear like a romantic date--they pass flowers, he picks one out, they pass a bistro table, a backdrop of a sunset follows them for awhile, etc.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Oh yeah. Betty was so spunky and fun. Veronica may have had great legs, but she was too moody. Very high maintenance.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie laughs. ANGLE ON: A TABLE WHERE KRISTEN AND TOMMY ARE SELLING PROM tickets. Aldys is standing in front of them.</scene_description>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>You can't not sell me a ticket to prom.</dialogue>
    <character>TOMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Listen, Alpo--we can do whatever we want.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, I get it. It's that pesky making change part that's confusing you guys. Here. I'll make it easy.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(holding up money)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Money-</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(drops money, takes ticket)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Ticket.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Aldys takes her ticket, walks off. Tommy and Kristen turn to each other and start whispering conspiratorially. ANGLE BACK ON: JOSIE AND SAM Sera runs up to Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>SERA</character>
    <dialogue>Josie, were Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum a couple?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie and Sam share a look.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Well, in a strict sense, probably not. But for prom--sure.</dialogue>
    <character>SERA</character>
    <dialogue>Thanks!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sera turns off.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>You're really doing a great job here, Josie. I like your "can do" attitude.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(shyly)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Thanks.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>They weren't related to Humpty Dumpty, were they? Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee?</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe distant cousins. They did have that egg shape in common.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>But Humpty Dumpty was alone.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>That's sad, isn't it? He had to sit on that wall all by himself. He deserved to have somebody.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>That's really what we all need, right? Someone to sit up on the wall with us--</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah. To watch the world go by.--</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>To put us back together again when we fall.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They share a meaningful glance and a smile.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Our penguin, right?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Do you think you'll find her?</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, actually I do.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They are lost in each other. They lean closer, as if they may kiss, then Sam breaks the moment.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Oh my God! I almost forgot--I got you a meeting with the admissions guy from Dartmouth!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>What! But--I wasn't even going to go to college--</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>No, I know, but I pulled some strings, got him to look at your writing, and he agreed to meet you.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh--yikes!</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Told him</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(teasing)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>--if I'm wrong about this girl, you can take away my teaching certificate!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Wow. You believe in me that much--</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Of course I do. Josie, you owe it to yourself--to your writing, to go to college. You're a great writer. You just have to find your story.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>As they share a meaningful look, WE FREEZE FRAME.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GUS'S OFFICE - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Gus and Josie sit in front of his TV. The image of Sam and Josie is frozen on the screen.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>That's your story!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You're crazy. I can't--I can't-no. No.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>It's got it all--sex, intrigue, immorality in the education system--</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>He's my teacher!</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>And that's the best part.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(bannering with his hands)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>"Teacher-Student Relations: How close is too close?" We're gonna blow the lid off it!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>There is no lid! Nothing's going on between Sam and me. Coulson. Mr. Sam Coulson and me.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Not yet. Every person in this office comes in here and watches you guys! It's like the goddamn Young and the Restless! Rigfort's salivating over it.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You already pitched this to Rigfort?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus leans in, now all business.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Josie, this isn't a joke. You heard Rigfort. It's both of our asses on the line. This is your story.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie is getting ready for prom. She wears her bathrobe and is doing her make-up. She looks over at her dresser where she eyes the camera/flight wings pin tentatively.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. DEN - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Rob, in boxers, a dress shirt, and socks is filling flasks with vodka. Josie comes in the door wearing a lovely Elizabethan gown. She looks absolutely beautiful.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Wow, Josie- you look really-</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(hopeful)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Rufus?</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Yes. Exactly. Major Rufus.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Thanks. And what are -</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Duh. Tom Cruise. "Risky Business".</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He puts on his black wayfarer sunglasses, and does the famous slide into the living room. Josie laughs.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Rob--thanks. For everything. This is really happening. I never thought--</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>I know.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob smiles and exits. Josie nervously checks her reflection in the T.V. - just like she did eight years ago. She takes a deep breath, and goes out.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. FRONT PORCH - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie comes out on the porch, and sees the limo rounding the corner, just like eight years before. The sunroof opens. And Guy stands up - holding something. Josie panics - and starts to take cover - but then sees he's holding a dozen white roses. And holding them out to her.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Come on beautiful - what are you waiting for?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie, smiling, runs down the driveway to the limo.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. COUNTRY CLUB - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Prom night. And it really is magical. Twinkling lights dot the trees, MUSIC wafts out from the club. A neon sign that says "Meant For Each Other" blinks above the building.-COUPLES make their way inside. We see MORK a MINDY, ANTONY a CLEOPATRA and Sera dressed as a RABBIT. Annoyed, she turns back to her lagging date, Brett, dressed as a TORTOISE.</scene_description>
    <character>SERA</character>
    <dialogue>Hello! If you don't hurry up we're gonna miss the whole thing!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gibby, Kirsten, and Kristen exit limos with their DATES. They all wear the same straight blonde wig, and look at each other in horror.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh-my-God. You totally ripped off my Malibu Barbie idea.</dialogue>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Uh uh. I'm Disco Barbie.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kirsten's wearing a short, tight miniskirt.</scene_description>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>And I'm Evening Gown Barbie.</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Right. That's not an evening gown.</dialogue>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>It is on Barbie.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie and Guy approach, dressed in Elizabethan costume. They look great.</scene_description>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Josie, you look Rufus.</dialogue>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Who are you guys?</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>Don't tell me... You're Medieval Barbie.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Rosalind and Orlando.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(nothing)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>From "As You Like It"?</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(more blank stares)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Shakespeare?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>It's like talking to a sack of hammers. Guy interjects.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Look! I get to have a sword!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And they all ooh and ahh.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COUNTRY CLUB - CONTINOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>WE FOLLOW Josie and the group into the prom. The place looks amazing. Lights, ice sculptures, champagne fountains. WE PAN DOWN the buffet. A BOY dressed as a jar of PEANUT BUTTER and his date, JELLY, are getting food. Peanut Butter turns away from the buffet and bumps into a GIRL dressed as a CHOCOLATE BAR.</scene_description>
    <character>PEANUT BUTTER</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, sorry.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>There's a magical beat as they smile at each other.</scene_description>
    <character>CHOCOLATE BAR</character>
    <dialogue>That's okay--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jelly looks on, chagrined. We reach two OLDER GENTLEMEN in tuxes who carry clipboards and wear big buttons that read: NATIONAL PROM JUDGE. They contemplate the ice sculpture.</scene_description>
    <character>JUDGE #1</character>
    <dialogue>It's deft and unique without being derivative.</dialogue>
    <character>JUDGE #2</character>
    <parenthetical>(looking off)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hey! Pigs in blankets!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And he runs off.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COUNTRY CLUB - LATER THAT NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie sits with the COOL GROUP at a table. Kristen is making odd faces.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Kristen, what are you doing?</dialogue>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>I'm practicing my surprised face for when we get named to prom court.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>JOSEPH and a very pregnant MARY approach their table and try to sit down.</scene_description>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>Sorry. There's no room at this table.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Joseph and Mary amble off. Guy turns to Josie.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>You having fun?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(meaning it)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh yeah. The best.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie takes in the spectacle around her.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GEORGE'S VAN - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Candles are lit. George's Date sits on the couch. The monitor is on showing the JOSIE CAM POV. He flips the switch, the lights dim and a small disco ball starts moving slowly. George settles in next to his Date.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GUS'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The entire office is crammed into Gus's office. Anita sits up front, spellbound, watching the JOSIE CAM. Gus stands in back. Okay, he's a little interested too.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>This is the most beautiful prom I have ever been to.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Cynthia runs in with a bowl of popcorn.</scene_description>
    <character>CYNTHIA</character>
    <dialogue>Did I miss the crowning?</dialogue>
    <character>MERKIN</character>
    <dialogue>No, but I'm closing the pool in five minutes.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Merkin holds out a bowl of cash.</scene_description>
    <character>MERKIN</character>
    <dialogue>Josie's odds are 3 to 1. 2 to 1 for Prom court. And even odds the kid sticks himself with the sword by the end of the night.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COUNTRY CLUB - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>WE PAN ACROSS the dance floor where we see POPEYE & OLIVE OYL, SONNY & CHER, the BLUES BROTHERS. WE HOLD on ROBIN dancing with BATGIRL. BATMAN approached and taps Robin's shoulder--</scene_description>
    <character>BATMAN</character>
    <dialogue>May I have this dance-</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And Batgirl steps aside--Robin and Batman dance happily away. ANGLE ON ROB TRYING TO SLOW DANCE WITH TRACY (Dressed like REBECCA De MORNAY), but she is so-drunk she's having trouble balancing.</scene_description>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>Are you having fun?</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah. Definitely.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He tries to stand her up on her own.</scene_description>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>Good. Gibby gave me champagne.</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe we should sit.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He helps her to a chair next to the dance floor. They both sit. Next to them, a ravenous MISS PIGGY eats with her date KERMIT looking on. She picks up an hors d'oeuvre and stares at it horrified.</scene_description>
    <character>MISS PIGGY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh my God! Is this a pig in a blanket?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tracy looks at Rob, and gets serious.</scene_description>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>Rob, I've - I've thought about it a lot. And I think- I mean, I know. You're the one. My penguin.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob looks at her. She's young. She's beautiful. She's tipsy. She's trying to put her legs behind her head.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Wow - I-</dialogue>
    <character>TRACY</character>
    <dialogue>Rob, I mean it. I want you to be my first. Me and you. Once the floor stops spinning, let's have sex.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He looks around. It's high school prom. A skinny kid is getting beat up in a corner. Other kids are sneaking smokes. He can't do this.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>I'm gonna get you some water. And then, I think we should get back out on that dance floor and boogie.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rob gets up, kisses Tracy on the top of her head, and heads for the refreshment table. Tracy, her leg still around her head falls backwards into Kermit's lap. Kermit looks down, surprised and interested. Miss Piggy notices, gives him a big "Harumph", tosses her hair, and leaves. ANGLE BACK ON: THE COOL TABLE. Gibby is staring O.S. in horror.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>You guys--what is the one thing that could ruin my senior prom?</dialogue>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>That you would trip on your Barbie heels and I'd get named prom queen?</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Did I say that out loud?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WE FOLLOW Kristen's stare to the prom entrance where Aldys and the Denominators enter in pairs, one behind the other, attached together with rope, to form a human ladder. They cross the dance floor, interrupting everything with their unwieldy, tied-together conga line. They approach the Cool Table.</scene_description>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>So what are you supposed to be? Other than freaks?</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>We're DNA. A double helix. But I guess you'd know that if you'd actually passed bio.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kristen reaches out and touches the rope binding Denominator #1 to Aldys. Denominator #1 slaps her hand away.</scene_description>
    <character>DENOMINATOR #1</character>
    <dialogue>Please don't touch the hydrogen. It's rented.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kristen reacts.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COUNTRY CLUB - ON THE STAGE - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Sam takes the stage, with a card in his hand.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Well, the moment has arrived.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He looks at the card.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Our 1999 prom court - the princesses are - Miss Kristen Rey, Miss Kirsten Leosis and Miss Gibby Zarefsky. And the princes are Mr. Thomas Salamey, Mr. Jason Way, and Mr. Rob -</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sam looks at the card, and then looks around. Nobody can help him.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Mr. Rob ... Mr. Rob!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The crowd cheers. Gibby, Kirsten, and Kristen all jump in preplanned delight. Rob seems genuinely surprised. Jason carries Tommy up to the stage piggyback. The girls make their way to the stage, and put on their "PROM COURT" sashes. Sam looks to the card again.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Next up - Southglen's Prom King…</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Guy is already halfway to the stage-</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Guy Perkins!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The crowd goes wild. Guy reaches the stage and takes his crown and scepter.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>And - this year's prom queen -</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sam looks at the card, then at Josie. Josie is standing; eyes open, staring at the podium...</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GUS'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The Crowd is rapt, waiting for the announcement. Anita has her eyes squeezed shut, praying for the win...</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COUNTRY CLUB - ANGLE ON SAM.</stage_direction>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Ladies and gentlemen - Josie Geller!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The Crowd CHEERS like crazy, Josie smiles.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GUS'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The Crowd goes crazy, hugging each other and jumping up and down.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Yes! You go girl! Yes! Yes!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Anita gives Gus a big hug. Gus is completely taken aback. Merkin dolefully hands out money.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COUNTRY CLUB - CONTINUOUS-</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie is hugged and congratulated as she makes her way, elated, to the stage. Sam places the Queen's tiara on her head and hands her a bouquet of flowers. They lock eyes for a moment.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>And now - as it is custom - the king and queen will have their first dance.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ON THE DANCE FLOOR: Guy and Josie begin to dance. From Josie's P.O.V., it's in SLOW MOTION, the world glittering and wonderful around her.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Hey--what are you thinking about?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Shakespeare. How he described a night like this--"Look how the floor of heaven is thick inlaid with patines of bright gold".</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What about you? What are you thinking about?</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <parenthetical>(taking a beat, happily)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>My sword.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>It's like a switch has been flicked on in Josie's brain.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh.</dialogue>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Josie, you rock my world. You're like the most amazing girl I've ever dated. You're so smart and fun and crazy! You rock my world.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>You said that already.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COUNTRY CLUB - BUFFET - MINUTES LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie stands by the buffet in her tiara, turns and comes face to face with Sam. They're both taken aback by the other's beauty.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Josie--you make a really beautiful prom queen.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Thanks. So do you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They both laugh, embarrassed, at Josie's flub.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>I always feel like such a goofball in these penguin suits. Like I'm at my own wedding or something.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>An awkward beat.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>You wanna--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He gestures towards the dance floor. Josie smiles.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, okay--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And they walk off onto the dance floor. ANGLE ON: THE SIDE OF THE DANCE FLOOR. Guy approaches Aldys.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, listen--it's prom. How about we let all the old shit go. Would you like to dance?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Aldys can't help it. She smiles, a little flattered.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>If it's okay with the rest of the double helix.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Aldys smiles and unhooks herself from the group. And starts to dance with Guy. ANGLE ON: JOSIE AND SAM as they continue to dance.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Proms always make me sad.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>They're so final. Graduation. Everyone's scattering, moving on.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Well, are you here with anybody?</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>No, I'm alone.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>It's weird because "prom" is actually from the word "promenade". And you can't really promenade alone, can you?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sam smiles at this.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>You're amazing, Josie Geller.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON: GUY AND ALDYS AS THEY DANCE, WE SEE THE COOL Girls and Jason standing to the side of the dance floor laughing Gibby reaches into her purse and pulls out a CAN OF ALPO. She hands it to Jason who pulls a CAN OPENER out of his pocket, opens the lid. He hands it to Kirsten who take the lid off. She hands the can to Kristen, who hands the can to Tommy.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>So--have you thought anymore about Dartmouth?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, I have.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>CLOSE UP on Josie's HAND as she subtlety removes her hidden camera pin and drops it to the ground.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>There's something I have to tell you--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Her foot comes down on top of it.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GEORGE'S VAN - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>George is making out with his Date when the monitor suddenly FRITZES OFF. George looks up.</scene_description>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>What the--?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>George stands and hits the side of the monitor.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GUS'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Gus's monitor flicks to static. The Crowd lets out a horrified GASP.</scene_description>
    <character>CYNTHIA</character>
    <dialogue>Tell him what?! Tell him what?!</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COUNTRY CLUB - DANCE FLOOR - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Sam looks deep into Josie's eyes.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>There's something I have to tell you, too--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie's eyes shift from Sam to over his shoulder. She spots Aldys, who smiles at her. Josie's eyes travel up to the can of DOG FOOD. FLASH: TEENAGE JOSIE on the porch, facing Billy and his Date. FLASH: TEENAGE JOSIE with egg dripping all over her. BACK TO PRESENT.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>NOOOOOOO!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>SLOW MOTION as Josie lunges for Aldys and pulls her to floor as Tommy, off-balance, dumps the dog food all down Guy's front. The Crowd stops dead, staring. The can, now empty, rolls slowly off the dance floor, the metal rolling noise ECHOING in the silence.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Josie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What is your problem?!</dialogue>
    <character>GIBBY</character>
    <dialogue>I knew it. You are a loser.</dialogue>
    <character>KRISTEN</character>
    <dialogue>You ruined the whole thing!</dialogue>
    <character>KIRSTEN</character>
    <dialogue>You so do not deserve to be prom queen.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Everyone is still staring. It's dead quiet.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Let me tell you something.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>It is still silent. Josie takes a deep breath, and looks around the room.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I don't care about being the prom queen. I am twenty five years old.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Looks of confusion and teenage disgust. Rob is pissed. Sam looks shocked.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm here as an undercover reporter for the Sun Times for God's sake and I've been beating my brains out trying to impress you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She tears off her crown, and chucks it. She's on a roll.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I want to tell you something. You people- Guy, Gibby, the rest of you who have been keeping the geeks down through the ages. You will spend your lives trying to figure out ways to keep others down, because it makes you feel more important. And you will miss out on so much.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(indicating Aldys)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Why her, huh? What did she ever do to you? Let me tell you something about this girl. She is unbelievable. I was new here, and she befriended me- no questions asked. But you people, you were my friends only after my brother, Rob...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She points out Rob in the crowd. He's mortified.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>... posed as a student and told you to like me. But y'know--I have to thank you. I got to go to an amazing prom. I got to be prom queen. I got to be cool. It felt good.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>But not as good as being myself.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(turns to crowd)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>And to all of you-- there's a big world out there. Bigger than prom. Bigger than high school.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>When you get there, it won't matter if you were prom queen or the quarterback or the biggest nerd in school. What matters is that you don't regret who you were, who you are-What if Steven Spielberg had quit the audio/visual club because it wasn't "cool"? What if Rosie O'Donnell had stopped cracking jokes because someone told her they were stupid? What if Michael Jordan never went back to basketball after he got cut from his high school team?.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(a beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>In this room right now, there could be a future Nobel Prize winner, a Supreme Court Justice, an amazing Mom. Find out who you are and don't be afraid of it.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(a beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>And if you'll all excuse me, I have some business to take care of.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Reaction shots all around. Kids start clapping, hollering, whooping. The MUSIC STARTS UP again. They all go back to dancing. The Denominators lead their own conga line. ANGLE ON: JOSIE She looks around for Sam but he is gone. She runs out, brushing past the Judges. ANGLE ON: JUDGES Judge #2 dabs his eyes.</scene_description>
    <character>JUDGE #1</character>
    <dialogue>This prom had it all. Laughter, tears, an amazing climax.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Judge #2, still overcome, just raises his "two thumbs up."</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. COUNTRY CLUB PARKING LOT - MOMENTS LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie exits the club, looking for Sam. George runs up to her.</scene_description>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>Hey--I lost the feed! What happened with Coulson? Gus is going crazy!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Out of the shadows emerges Sam. The look on his face says he just heard everything.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>So--surprise!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He shakes his head in disbelief and walks off. Josie chases after him. He turns back to her.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>"Surprise!" You were doing a story on me?!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>No, surprise, I thought you'd be--</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>What? Happy? Why? Because it turns out all along that I was allowed to be attracted to you?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(touched)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You were attracted to me?</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Goddamnit, Josie! Drop the act. Do you have any idea what I went through every night because of you?! I was attracted to a 17 year old! When I wasn't taking cold showers, I was trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do when I couldn't teach anymore! I thought I was the one being unethical.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Wait, I was going to tell you--</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>You set me up. For a story.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You know what's crazy? I was actually considering waiting for you.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>But now you don't have to--</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>Now I don't want to! I bought all of your penguin crap. I thought I found her--the right one! And the problem was she was too young! No -the problem was--she didn't even exist!</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I did exist. I do exist. I'm the same person!</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>The person I cared about wouldn't have done this. Everything out of your mouth has been a complete lie. I don't know you at all. For all I know you could hate Dorothy Parker.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I don't! Look, you could get to know me, again.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sam turns and starts to walk away.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Please. Please don't walk away.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>I just can't look at you the same way.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sam gets into his car and drives off. Josie is devastated.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S APARTMENT BUILDING - HALLWAY - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie, still in the prom dress, rounds the corner of her apartment hallway and sees Rob, still in his Risky Business get-up, slumped in front of the door.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>Josie, finally. I just wanted to come over and make sure you're okay.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Really?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He gets up. He's not happy.</scene_description>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>No- not really, Josie. NOT REALLY. How could you do that to me? I helped you. I got you everything you wanted. And how do you repay me- you blow everything TWO DAYS before pro scouts come to see me play. Once they had seen me really play- they wouldn't have given a shit about my age.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Wasn't even thinking about-</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>No, you weren't. Don't you realize the only time I was really happy in the last five years was when I was playing ball with those guys?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I-</dialogue>
    <character>ROB</character>
    <dialogue>No, shut up, Josie. Just shut up.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He storms off.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S BEDROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie lies amidst the needlepoint pillows, still in her prom costume. She stares blankly at the ceiling.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GUS'S OFFICE - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Gus slaps a newspaper down on his desk. CLOSE ON - the front page of the paper, and not just any newspaper - THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE - the Sun Times' rival. There is a PHOTO of Josie from Prom with the headline that reads: "REPORTER REVEALED AT LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL". Josie picks it up, and starts reading.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Your story was Rigfort's baby. We were scooped! We've got nothing. Zippo. You totally and completely screwed both of us.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe I could talk to Rigfort, you know, tell him the whole story.</dialogue>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>I'll tell you a story. It's about this shy copy editor who makes a mockery of herself and her boss when she completely botches her first assignment as a reporter.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie stands. Slams down the paper.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>We are not screwed. Yes, I made a mistake. But we will have a story.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You will have an amazing story.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie exits.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SUN TIMES BULLPEN - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie walks out of Gus's office, continues, determined, towards the elevators. Anita falls into step with her.</scene_description>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>Josie! Josie, how'd it go? Did he ream you?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, but I'm okay. I've got some work to do.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>You need my help?</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>No, thanks--I'm doing this on my own.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie walks past Merkin's desk. She holds out her hand to Merkin.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Merkin. Highlighter.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Merkin slaps a highlighter into her hand, she continues on. Anita watches her go.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. SOUTHGLEN HIGH SCHOOL - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie, looking quite the professional in stylish pantsuit and briefcase, bounds up the steps, two at a time.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie walks down the hall, purposefully - she is on a mission. Groups of kids stop and stare at her, but this time, Josie doesn't even notice. As Josie rounds a corner, she comes face to face with Guy, who is at his locker. He looks at her. She smiles. And now it is Guy that is nervous. He drops a pile of papers, tries awkwardly to gather them. Josie looks at him - and for the first time we see it register on her face - this guy is just a seventeen- year-old kid.</scene_description>
    <character>GUY</character>
    <dialogue>Uh, hey, umm--Ms. Geller. This is totally embarrassing but my mom, she's all worried about me getting a job after graduation. She wanted me to ask you about like, an internship for me, at the Sun Times?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie smiles big.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'll do what I can. And tell your mom not to worry - you'll do O.K.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie continues down the hall.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. LOCKER ROOM - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The guys' locker room. A bunch of GUYS are getting dressed after P. E.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>WOMAN COMING THROUGH! COVER UP WHAT</dialogue>
    <character>YOU DON'T WANT SEEN!</character>
    <dialogue>And with that Josie comes walking into the locker room, completely unruffled, and storms over to Coach Romano's office, just as he is leaving it.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hi, Coach Romano, my name is Josie Geller, from the Chicago Sun Times Listen, you know the local sports guy for the Sun Times, Jim Lakin?</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Sure, every coach in the area tries to get Jim to cover his team.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie puts her arm around the coach, and leads him back into his own office.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Well, what would you say if I told you that I could guarantee that Jim and every other reporter in the area would be at the game?</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>I'd say you can have whatever the hell you want.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie smiles, together they enter his office and close the door.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JOSIE'S APARTMENT - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie sits at her disk, typing on her laptop, engrossed.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Someone once told me that to write well you have to write what you know.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>This is what I know. I am twenty five years old. I have never really kissed a guy. A geek to the core, most of my childhood years were spent doing extra homework I requested from the teacher.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GUS' OFFICE - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Gus comes in, snaps on the light, sits at his desk, and opens his newspaper. He pulls out, the "Life and Style" section. And there it is. Front page - "NEVER BEEN KISSED BY JOSIE GELLER." There are three pictures next to the article. One is Josie at age 17, one is her recent prom picture, and one is her as a normal, 25 yr. old adult.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>High school was more of the same. Then, at seventeen, it seemed as if my luck was about to change. The cutest guy in school asked me to senior prom - but it turned out he invited me as a cruel joke. I have never fully recovered.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SUN TIMES LUHCHROOH - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Anita and Cynthia read the article, in the staff lunch room, over a shared bag of microwave popcorn. They are astounded-</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Yes, it is embarrassing to share this with the world. But it would be hard to explain what I learned, and how I learned it, without sharing this humiliating history.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. A HOUSE - MORNING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The Sun Times lies on the front mat. The door opens; we see a pair of bare feet. A hand reaches down to grab the paper. WE PAN UP to reveal Sam in all his depressed glory--sweats, unshaven, bleary eyed.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>I received an assignment, my first as a reporter, to enroll in high school as a student, to gain some insight into kids today. Understandably, returning to high school was my worst nightmare.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sam shuts the door.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. SOUTHGLEN HIGH SCHOOL - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Kids stream into school.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>What I found?</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. MRS. KNOX'S CIASSROOM - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Mrs. Knox, wearing the sombrero, teaches her class.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>There's still that one teacher, who marches to her own drummer-</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And in the back row, Kirsten, Kristen and Gibby are laughing an talking--</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Those girls are still there. The ones that, even as you grow up, will still be the most beautiful girls that you've ever seen close up.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BASEBALL DIAMOND - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>THE BASEBALL TEAM AS THEY PRACTICE-</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>The athletes - and the immense sense of fraternity and loyalty that they share-</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SCIENCE LAB - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>ALDYS AND THE DENOMINATORS- MAKING SMORES OVER A BUNSON BURNER GETTING INTO A MELTED CHOCOLATE AND MARSHMALLOW FIGHT- AND LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY-</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>The smart kids. Who everyone else always knew as the brains. But who I just knew as my soulmates, my teachers, my friends.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>GUY, TOMMY AND JASON, AS THEY GET OUT GUY'S CAR, IN THE PARKING LOT-</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>And there's still that one guy, the one who is so perfect in every way, from the muscles in his shoulders-</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. HIGH SCHOOL - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>WE FOCUS IN ON GUY, AS HE TAKES THE FRONT STEPS TWO AT A TIME-</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>- to the way he, in his own way, struggles to uphold tradition. Southglen would not have been the same without him. High school would not be the same without him. I would not have been the same without him.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>GUY, HIS BUDDIES, KIRSTEN, KRISTEN AND GIBBY, SIGN YEARBOOKS, HANG OUT BY THE LOCKERS-</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>All of these things made me miserable at seventeen. But at twenty five I finally see that this - all of this- is just the way it should be. It is all part of this thing- high school. A time in our lives that we can never truly repeat. A time that shapes us. A time that makes us who we are, for years to come.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. NEWSSTAND - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>HANDS GRAB CHICAGO SUN TIMES AT THE NEWSSTAND-</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>High school- going through it the first time- helped make me who I am. But going there a second time made me see that who I am is O.K. I always wanted to be "in", but seven years later, when they finally opened the door, I somehow gained the confidence to stay outside, firmly, happily.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. "EL" TRAIN PLATFORM - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>About 75% of the people have their Life and Style sections opened, reading Josie's piece.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>This is not the article I was sent in to write. This is the article I needed to write. I lived a lifetime of regret after my first high school experience, and now, after my second, my regrets are down to one.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SAM'S KITCHEN - MORNING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The kitchen of a depressed guy--empty pizza boxes next to a dying plant. Sam pours milk into a bowl of Lucky Charms while he reads the Sports Section of the paper.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>A certain teacher was trampled in my path to self-discovery, and though this article may serve as a step, it in no way makes up for what I did to him.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He's not paying attention and the milk overflows the bowl, soaking the table.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>To this man, you know who you are, I am so sorry.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He takes the wet paper, using it like a sponge, he sops up the remaining milk, and throws the paper into an open trash can. He leaves the kitchen. WE HOLD ON the empty room.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>And, I would like to add one more thing - I think I am in love with you.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BASEBALL, STADIUM PARKING LOT - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Cars begin to fill the parking lot in a steady stream.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>And so I propose this - as an ending to this article, and, perhaps, as an ending to this portion of my life. I, Josie Geller, will be at the State Championship baseball game - where my friends the Southglen Rams are playing for the title.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BASEBALL FIELD - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The Southglen Rams baseball team minus Rob, are on the field, warming up.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>I will stand on the pitcher's mound for the five minutes prior to the first pitch. If this man accepts my apology, I ask him to come to kiss me, in front of everyone, for my first real kiss.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>We find a nervous looking Josie standing in the dugout.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Five minutes may seem like a short time, but trust me, when you've been waiting twenty-five years, it's usually the last five minutes that kill you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>CU: THE PICTURE TAKEN OF JOSIE AND SAM AT THE PROM.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>I went back to high school and discovered I was a loser, again.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WIDEN TO REVEAL the picture on the fridge in--</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SAM'S KITCHEN - EVENING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Sam enters, still in sweats, carrying a book. He opens the fridge, grabs a beer, shuts it, is confronted by Josie's picture. He takes it down, looks at it.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>And then I discovered it wasn't so bad. I wasn't so bad. So, now that I'm ready to start living the rest of my life, it would be magical if I could live the rest of it with him.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sam lets the photo slowly drop from his hand into the trash.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Because inside everyone is a loser afraid to be loved, and out there is the one person who can kiss us and make it all better.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WE FOLLOW Sam's stare down into the trash and see the photo lying on top and to the side of Josie's article--the photos from the article are clearly visible. ANGLE ON HOT DOGS, POPCORN CHANGING HANDS BEING SOLD BY the truckload at the stadium. The crowds are over capacity. Way over. People fill the parking lot, they cover every other inch of school grounds, as well. They stand on the roofs of nearby buildings, they sit on top of their cars. It looks like most of Chicago is either already there, or on their way. Some WOMEN hold signs for Josie, others hold and wave her article. Josie sticks her head out of the dugout, and looks out at the fans. TV REPORTERS are everywhere, including several on the field. She looks like she may faint. She ducks back in.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. DUGOUT - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The team is dressed, ready, excited. Anita and Aldys stand next to Josie. Josie looks up at the crowd, amazed.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Wow. It's packed.</dialogue>
    <character>ANITA</character>
    <dialogue>It's great! They're behind you. They feel like they know you.</dialogue>
    <character>ALDYS</character>
    <dialogue>It's romantic, what you're doing, and they want to be a part of it.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Well I'm so glad that you guys are.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie then starts to hyperventilate. She puts her head between her ankles. Anita and Aldys both grab the brown paper bag and hand it to Josie. She hyperventilates into it. Coach Romano approaches. Josie puts the bag down.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Sweet Jesus, Geller - I had no idea there'd be all these TV crews here. This thing's gonna be on every station in the country.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie immediately begins hyperventilating into the bag again.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>You more than kept your end of the bargain. Now go out there and get 'em.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie gets up and he slaps her on the ass. She hugs Aldys. Then Anita gives Josie a big hug, and won't let go. Josie has to pull Anita pulls back. Josie struggles to get out of the hug- Anita won't let her. Finally, they are both laughing. Josie walks out of the dugout, and onto the field.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PITCHER'S MOUND - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>She walks, alone, out to the pitcher's mound, clutching a microphone. The crowd goes berserk. She stands until they quiet.</scene_description>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>Could I have five minutes on the clock, please?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The scoreboard clock reads 5:00. Josie stands, alone.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BOX SEATS - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The staff from the Sun Times sits in box seats up front. Rigfort joins them, carrying a huge load of hot dogs.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>I got weiners. Hot weiners.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rigfort sits next to Gus. Behind them sit Bruns, his hair finally growing in and Howard, now down to just a sling.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>I love this. Sun Times readers, out here, making a personal connection to one of our reporters. This is amazing, isn't it? Weiner?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gus takes a weiner.</scene_description>
    <character>GUS</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, it is.</dialogue>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <parenthetical>(studying his weiner)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Wait a minute...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Rigfort pulls something small and shiny out of the bun.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>There's a bolt in my weiner.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Then he turns back to Howard and smiles.</scene_description>
    <character>RIGFORT</character>
    <dialogue>Hey Howard, what are you doing for the next month?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Howard's face falls.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PITCHER'S MOUND - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie still stands there. The clock is down to 2:30. She looks over to the dugout.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BLEACHERS - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The Denominators talking and laughing. Behind them, sit THE MARCHING BAND</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PITCHER'S MOUND - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie forces-a stoic smile. 1:00 is on the clock.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BLEACHERS - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The cool crowd. Guy, Kirsten and the gang. They are trying start the wave, but its not working.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PITCHER'S MOUND - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The clock reads: 20.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BOX SEATS - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The Sun Times box. Anita clutches Gus's hand for dear life has her eyes squeezed tight. The crowd keeps chanting.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BLEACHERS - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Everyone - including all the Denominators are on their feet, chanting. Aldys cheers the loudest.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. STANDS - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The women are on their feet, chanting.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BLEACHERS - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Guy and the Gang are on their feet.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PITCHER'S MOUND - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Josie stands, clutching the mic. The clock reads: 10.</scene_description>
    <character>CROWD</character>
    <dialogue>TEN - NINE - EIGHT - SEVEN - SIX -</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie stands there, head still held high.</scene_description>
    <character>CROWD</character>
    <dialogue>FIVE - FOUR - THREE - TWO -</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie steals a look to the dugout. No one is coming out the door.</scene_description>
    <character>CROWD</character>
    <dialogue>ONE!!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Josie makes one more desperate look around. No one is running toward her. CLOSE UP on Josie, completely crestfallen. She drops the microphone. It reverbs in the silent stadium. WE PAN ACROSS the Crowd, all defeated. And then... A commotion in the stands. Sam bursts through the crowd. He runs toward the mound. The Crowd is on their feet. It feels like a lifetime before he reaches Josie, grabs her, pulls her close to him.</scene_description>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>I told you you could write, Josie Geller.</dialogue>
    <character>JOSIE</character>
    <dialogue>I finally found my story.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And they kiss passionately. The most amazing, most waited- for kiss in the history of man. A kiss that will last forever.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. DUGOUT - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Rob is in his baseball uniform, cheering up a storm. Across his chest is emblazoned: "ASSISTANT COACH".</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BOX SEATS - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Anita is so thrilled, she reaches over and plants a big one on Gus. She is surprised. So is he. They like it.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BLEACHERS - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The Denominators and Aldys cheer their brains out.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. BLEACHERS - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Guy, Kirsten, etc. have finally succeeded in starting the wave.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PITCHER'S MOUND - SAME</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>MUSIC UP: The Beach Boys "And Then I Kissed Her" as Josie and Sam continue to kiss as the CAMERA PULLS UP, taking in the kiss, the Crowd, the stadium... CAMERA SPINS UP as FIREWORKS go off above the stadium... And we watch as the stadium becomes a speck against the glittering backdrop of Chicago. FADE OUT: THE END</scene_description>
  </scene>
</script>

Summary: Josie Geller is an insecure 25-year-old copy editor for the Chicago Sun-Times who has never had a real relationship. One day, her editor-in-chief, Rigfort, assigns her to report undercover at a high school to help parents become more aware of their children's lives. Her first day at South Glen South High School is miserable. Josie reverts to the old geek persona that ruined her first high school experience. She also has an unfortunate run-in with three obnoxious popular girls, Kirsten, Gibby and Kristin, and the school's most attractive and popular student, Guy Perkins. Josie loses hope but is reassured when a kind-hearted nerd named Aldys befriends her. Aldys, who loathes Guy and his gang, invites Josie to join The Denominators, a group of intelligent students. Josie falls in love with her English teacher, Sam Coulson, and becomes the top student in his class. After reciting a romantic excerpt from Shakespeare to Sam, Josie has horrible flashbacks to when she read a romantic poem aloud in class to her high school crush, a popular boy named Billy Prince, who later asked her to their senior prom, making her dream come true. However, on the night of the prom, Billy arrives with another girl and both of them hurl eggs and insults at Josie, humiliating her and breaking her heart. One night while out driving with Aldys, Josie encounters Guy and his gang at a local hangout called "The Court" where promiscuity and underage drinking take place. Her managing editor Augustus "Gus" Strauss loses patience with Josie after a rival paper scoops The Court story, and orders Josie to become friends with the popular kids. He arranges for her to wear a hidden camera, and soon the whole office becomes obsessed with her story. Josie confides in her brother Rob about her fears. Rob, who was their high school's most popular boy in his teens, urges her to let go of her old self and start anew. To help her, Rob enrolls as a student and becomes an instant hit. He then uses his influence to draw Josie into the cool crowd, much to the dismay of Aldys. Sam and Josie grow closer, but Sam struggles with his feelings as he thinks she's a student. Guy and Josie attend the prom as Rosalind and Orlando from Shakespeare's As You Like It. Anita, Gus and Josie's other co-workers watch through the camera and are overjoyed as she is voted prom queen. As Guy dances with Aldys as an alleged act of friendship, the mean girls attempt to dump dog food over Aldys. Outraged, Josie prevents the incident, throws her crown away and reveals her true identity. She praises Aldys for her kindness and warns the students that one's persona in high school means nothing in the real world. Sam is hurt by her lies and states he wants nothing to do with her. Also angered is Rob, who as a phony student received a second chance at baseball. Josie, ultimately making amends, secures him a coaching job. Josie vows to give Gus a story and writes an account of her experience. In it, she admits she's never been kissed, describes the students of South Glen South, and avows her love for Sam; the entire city is moved by it. She writes she will stand in the middle of the baseball field with a countdown and wait for Sam to come and kiss her. Josie waits, but the clock runs out with no sign of Sam. On the verge of giving up, soft cheers from the crowd give way to a booming roar, as Sam emerges to give her a romantic kiss. The movie ends with Sam telling her it took him forever to get here, a sentiment with which Josie agrees as they kiss again.